Last Wednesday and Thursday were difficult days for me. I could not escape negative thoughts. I felt overwhelmed by everything, and as much as I want to see things through, I found myself wanting to give up at the same time. I knew I was struggling, so I entered Thursday evening’s prayer time empty and open. As we began to pray, the prayers began to focus on me and my lack of strength. Before long a new voice joined us and I heard someone praying in tongues as I was praying. All of the sudden I found myself out of words, but our guest simply picked up where I had left off. As our prayer time went on, the group laid hands on me, anointed my head, lips, ears and hands with oil and helped me recommit myself to the battle for this city.
As we entered into Friday, I had a new outlook and a fresh wind in my sails. Before the day was over, God had answered Carol’s prayer for the provision of school supplies. A friend had called burdened that she and her husband were to provide our children’s school supplies. Carol had not even mentioned the need to them.
Over the last few weeks, several who have been praying for me from all of the world, had been speaking a word to me that dealt with trust and not abandoning my call. Carol also began sharing with me, that the Lord was leading her to pray for the shutting of all of the potential doors of employment. In light of our current financial situation, it seemed suicidal to pray that way, but I was wrestling with the same question. Sunday, the Lord gave me the clarity I had been asking for…in the form of loving correction. The Lord rebuked Carol and I through my primary prayer intercessor. The issue came down to trust, I had given up on trusting God and have been trying to make my own way through this job search. The Lord reminded me that He conquered death and hell, raised Lazarus from the dead and multiplied loaves and fishes; yet, our actions were denying that very power in our own life and circumstance.
Carol reminded me that Paul’s tentmaking went with him everywhere he went. She pointed out that all of the businesses the Lord has entrusted me with go around the world with me. I have done work from Asia and Africa when I have been before. She also acknowledged that we had tried to make these businesses work in our own wisdom and it simply had not worked. We both realized that we needed to repent…for grieving God and walking in our own understanding. We repented together and asked the Lord to shut the doors He never intended for us to open.
We realize that God has to be our all. He can’t be our #1 priority, the top of our list or any other position…He must be everything. We have to rely on Him for everything. He reminded me of something I’ve often said from the pulpit: “How can you trust God with your eternal salvation, if you can’t trust Him with the smallest details of everyday life?” How true this is…how can I teach the stories of Abraham, Noah, Moses, Elijah, David, Peter & Paul while not trusting in the same God who was there every step of the way for them, to be there every step of the way for me?
The icing on the cake for the weekend came last night. As we were coming home from the baseball game, we were discussing our prayer time on Thursday evening. Carol and I got to discussing the praying in tongues that our guest was doing. Collin, interrupted and asked when she was praying in tongues, because he only heard her speaking English the whole time. I quizzed him about some specific times that she was praying and he again indicated he had heard the whole thing in English. Carol and I both find ourselves amazed at what God has been doing in him already at such an early age.