Tag Archives: religion

Caution…Contents Under Extreme Pressure!

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I have now come to refer to the year 2008 as my year of deconstruction.  It was during 2008 that the Lord took me through the most painful, yet most freeing journey of my spiritual life with one question:  “Am I the Lord of every kingdom of your heart.”   2008 was so painful and so challenging on so many levels that I was ready to breathe easier as the calendar rolled to 2009; however, as we come towards the home stretch of January, I am quickly realizing that there are miles to go before I am ready to fit the vision that God has given me for Simplicity.

We have known for some time that we would need to move at the end of January.   As we have been praying for God’s clear direction for our next place, the suggestions have been many.   Move here, do this, try this, go this way, etc…   Some seemed as though they were of God’s leading, but as we followed their path, we did not find God’s provision at the end.  So here we are 8 days away from needing to move.  We have no clear direction, $60 in our bank account, a vacant house in Pennsylvania and the list goes on.   These first weeks of our business endeavors drain more money than they bring in and our peace has been fragile at best.

Yesterday, as I learned of a costly mistake I had made in our finances, that fragile peace fell apart.  A few more hailstones of bad news were lobbed into the mix and once again, I found myself like Peter, drowning in a sea of circumstances.  It isn’t where I wanted to be…I was begging forgiveness even as I was sinking, because I knew my eyes were off of the Master.   Try as I might, I could not get my eyes locked on, all I could do was gasp and hurt.

Yesterday afternoon, I spent time with some of the wisest men I know or have ever had the privilege of interacting with.  For the past two years, this group of men has walked together, each of us sharpening one another.  During our time, one of my closest advisers, brought our attention back to a passage that has captivated him for years (I’ve underlined the part that was meant for me in these days of refining):

2 Corinthians 1:8-10 (NASB)

8 For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life;
9 indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves in order that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead;
10 who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us,

These words were both comforting and distressing at the same time.  This is the Apostle Paul speaking to us…being very transparent.  In Carl’s loose translation he is saying:  “We were so over our heads, that we didn’t want to live anymore…”  Utter despair, overwhelmed by circumstance and paralyzed by fear…the place I’ve found myself in these past few weeks.

Well meaning people tell you…”just give it to the Lord.”   I’m finding that there are times that you don’t even have strength to give it to the Lord.  This also rang true with me in these words of Paul…it took a death sentence to self to bring about trust.  What I find happening in my life right now seems very similar.  God is putting to death all of the things that I trust in besides Him.  Many of these things I never knew were there, I thought they were conquered.   Unfortunately it takes severe upheaval to flesh those things out and sadly for me, it usually takes more than once.

This morning was no exception.  I awoke, determined to live in God’s peace once again, but quickly found myself helplessly and ashamedly adrift on the same sea once again.  God, however, did something different today as I cried and begged for peace, mercy and new focus.  He didn’t immediately extend His saving hand to me, but instead He allowed the despair to run its course.  From deep within flowed accusations, self righteous defiance, and challenges to God’s love for me.   Even though I knew my words were wrong, I continued to shake my indignant finger and chastise the “injustice” in my life.  A tidal wave of frustration, emotion, rage and fleshly sinfulness spewed forth from deep within the closets of my heart.   I wanted to quit life, quit the ministry, lash out against those who have taken careless liberties with my life…my spirit grieving, knowing these things to be lies from the pit of hell, and yet they were gushing out of my inner man.  As the gusher began to subside, brokenness consumed me, I wept with such pain, covered in the guilt and shame of my fleshly response….that which had been churning below the surface was now in full view and the only choice left was honesty and repentance.

These past few weeks, I have been teaching on Jesus’ interactions with the disciples.  This week it was Peter’s water walking adventure.  When I see Peter’s life, I find myself reflected.  A man who will risk anything for God, but doesn’t always understand the cost.  Why did Peter jump out of the boat?  Because He being with Jesus was worth the risk.  Why did he sink and why did he run?  He wasn’t dead to himself at that point.  Yet, Jesus knew all of this about Peter and these experiences were preparing him for the call ahead.  Jesus was looking for a man who would risk everything to declare the message of Jesus, in Peter He found such a man.  It would take a near drowning, 3 denials and a host of other hits, runs and errors to prepare him.  Add the filling of the Holy Spirit and Peter moved from loose cannon to being the “rock” upon which Jesus established His church.

In that flood of despair this morning came an impassioned confession, that I am tapped out.  My supply of strength, endurance and resources is gone.  I am watching my inner strength flatline, I have no other option, but to allow God to carry me the next step.

Tonight I am seeing things through new eyes once again.   These past 24 hours have truly been a failure of the flesh, but they have also been a victory of the Spirit.  God cleaned out some hidden closets, crawl spaces and attic hideaways today.   He allowed me to crash harder than I can remember in my lifetime.  He has allowed me to see the pain in the eyes of my wife that I could not comfort and the uncertainty in the face of my children that I could not alleviate.  Those things have been necessary to remind me of Paul’s words:  “That we should not trust in ourselves.”

I share these things, not for your sympathy, but instead so you will watch my life to see the One 10 who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us…once again.

Christmas Eve Reflections

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For the past decade, I have always conducted a candlelight Christmas Eve service at the church.   This services were  usually filled with church members and their families.  Christmas carols were sung and the account of Jesus’ birth was told.

This year the Lord led me in a different direction.  During our first visit to South Bluff Park, I saw so many who had no family to call their own; no place that they could truly call home; no one who took an interest in their life.  Mike and I talked, both feeling that we should be in the park once again on Christmas Eve, bringing the tangible love of Christ through the body of Christ.

This afternoon we fired up two barbecue pits in the center of the park and commenced to cooking 64 hamburgers and 56 hot dogs.   Over a two hour period we fed men, women and children, even making deliveries to a few nearby shut-ins.  Some of those we fed had not eaten yet today and possibly even yesterday.   For those who have been hidden from the light of Christ’s love, there is a magnetic quality to their encounters with His presence.  Mike and I see that we are beginning to earn the trust of those around the neighborhood and we believe it is only a matter of time before we are allowed to begin quenching the spiritual hunger as well.

Tonight about 10:15, my phone rang.  It was one of the men I had ministered to last Thursday.  He was not able to get lodging at one of the shelters, because he didn’t have any identification.  He had arranged to stay with a co-worker in Flour Bluff, but needed a ride there.   I was the only person he could think of and he still had my business card.   As he and I drove, the evidence of God’s love for him was evident.  He had already found new work and had been able to work three days this week.   He asked if after he got back on his feet, he could hitch a ride with me to church…I told him that he didn’t even need to be back on his feet for that to happen.

As I left him at his co-worker’s home, I found myself overcome by two deep seated emotions.   One was sadness.  It saddens me in a nation of opportunity, that so many are in such bondage.  Make no mistake, many are there because of their own decisions.; yet, I know that Jesus came to seek and save those who are lost.   I grieved tonight to see so many without hope, without life, without the fullness of Christ.   On the other hand, I was equally moved by joy and gratefulness.   As I cooked hamburgers and hot dogs today, I was surrounded by my wife and children.  I was joined by Mike, Kim and their daughter Brooke.   I knew I would leave the park and return to a familiar place of residence, sleep in my own bed, eat when I was hungry and spend the evening laughing as I relished the company of those I am closest to.

Tomorrow we will be opening our home to the young man I took fishing last week.  Tonight we made his stocking (and Elishba’s too) and wrapped his presents.   For him this will be his first ever family celebration of Christmas.  He grew up not knowing the love, support and joy of family.   I hope that what he will truly see is the family of God in all of its fullness.

I hope you have a Christ filled Christmas.

Finally!

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Today, I was finally able to complete the certificate of occupancy process with the city. After multiple inspections, hours of waiting and an open faced toilet seat…we’re finally done.

Tonight’s Organic Group was great. We have been ministering to a family that my wife has gotten to know through contact at my children’s school. This week one of their family members passed away and I showed up a few minutes after her passing. I had a chance to minister to the grieving husband and tonight he called asking if he could join us for Organic Group. I think we will develop a great relationship in the days to come.

Catching up

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With Thanksgiving I’ve gotten behind on the blog. So let me give you a quick rundown of some of the happenings over the extended weekend.

On Thursday we spent the morning at Mission 911. Mission 911 is around the corner from our church building in the South Bluff Park area of Corpus Christi. Mission 911 offers people the opportunity to get back on their feet with food, shelter, spiritual food and a sense of purpose. Mission 911 had already held their Thanksgiving celebration the week before, so our purpose was simple…hang out and get to know people.

We spent Wednesday evening baking cookies, pastries and other treats for the residents to enjoy. Once we arrived, we laid out the goodies and spent our time getting to know people. I had the opportunity to minister to a man who had been a resident the year before. His wife had left him recently and he arrived that morning looking to connect with the counselor that had helped him in the past. As we talked, he shared that he had given up hope and didn’t know how he could press on. By the time he left, God had done a work within Him. Just as he knew God had brought him up from the depths a year before, He also knew that God was willing to walk with Him through these dark days as well. Our greatest impact during the day was with the neighborhood children. We have been asked to consider starting something for the children on Saturdays and will be praying through that in the coming days.

About 2 weeks ago, the ministry was given a 1992 Jaguar. The car is currently in my driveway and not running, as the fuel system needs some work. On Saturday one of the men from the church and I spent a good portion of the day dismantling the fuel system, only to find out that the fuel pump we had was too large. This week we will try to complete the work and sell the car to further the ministry of Simplicity.

On Sunday, Mike preached his first message. He kept telling me he was terrified, but God spoke through him in spite of any fears he may have had. The video of his message is on the www.simplicitycc.org website under “media.”

Over the weekend, I began working with some e-commerce ideas I have had. I am hoping to develop a business model that can be developed to help support future church planters and ministry leaders. I currently have two websites up and running www.luvmyhog.com and www.healthmartxpress.com. I will be looking to develop a marketing strategy that can be cross pollinated for future use by other planters.

The development of a secular business model has become somewhat of a priority for me, as I realize that the one stumbling block for many potential Simplicity leaders will be the question of supporting their families, since one of the values of Simplicity Church is the use of bi-vocational and self-supporting pastors.

People Matter

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One of my stated core values is “people matter.” Today we put feet to that value by spending the morning at Mission 911. Mission 911 is a community of hope, help and unconditional love that is located around the corner from our church storefront. Mission 911 did their formal Thanksgiving dinner last week, so we came up this morning to just “hang out” and get to know people.

One of the things that I consider important in my ministry is relationships. I do not want to be a church that shows up throws some money and materials at a problem, takes a few pictures and leaves. So the priority today was to build relationships and look for opportunities for further ministry.

Throughout the morning we got to know some of the local children who enjoyed some intense games of Uno and Monopoly. We got to know a man who has bicycled throughout the Southern US and Mexico. We met a man who was hoping to find housing with the mission. Another man, who a year ago was a resident, returned today in tears as his family had fallen apart in the past few months. I watched as tears flowed from his eyes and ultimately God reminded Him that He was not alone.

The mission has no spiritual activities on Saturdays and there are no activities for the local children. Mike and I will spend time seeking God’s direction as to our role in the lives of these precious people that God loves deeply.

Drinking from a Fire Hydrant

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Over the past few days I have been explaining these first few weeks of Simplicity as “drinking from a fire hydrant.” The Lord has opened so many avenues of ministry, allowed me to have so many incredible conversations and brought me into communication with so many people…I am simply drenched in the enormity of His goodness.

Today was just another example. This morning I started out with contact from a pastor in Kenya who runs a school for local pastors. He was introduced to me by the man in South Carolina I have been conversing with about Simplicity. This pastor needs to be affiliated with a ministry organization for his school to be recognized by the Kenyan government. I believe this is a need we can easily address for him.

Next I had my final city inspection from the fire department. Tomorrow I will go turn in all of the inspection reports and get the certificate of occupancy on the building.

My next meeting was with the director and founder of the local rescue mission that we are going to partner with. Wouldn’t you know, by Divine design of course, the mission is up a few blocks and around the corner from our church building. The opportunities to bless one another were staggering and Mike was nearly in tears as he got to see the working reality of a dream he has had for 8 years.

I ended the day praying with a Christian business man who is supposed to have surgery on a tumor in the morning that has overtaken his sinus cavities. This man’s heart is to bring Jesus into the world of small business and his affirmation of my efforts was a great blessing. We prayed together trusting Jesus to do the impossible.

I am privileged to have been invited to drink from the “fountain” of God’s work in my generation.

The Weekend in Review

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Last week, the ministry was given a 1992 Jaguar that needs a new fuel pump and fuel filter. Other than that it seems to be in working condition. Saturday a man showed up at the house and asked if the Jaguar was for sale. I told him that it would be, but I wanted to get it running first. I explained that it had been donated to our ministry.

The man kept asking me what I wanted for it. I told him that I was unsure, but I gave him blue book values and said that if it was running, I would be looking for a certain amount and if it wasnt’ running I would be looking for a certain amount. The man said he would like to buy it, but if it was running what he really would like to do is trade a 1997 quad-cab Chevrolet pickup for it. Immediately, I saw prayers being answered.

Mike and I are both in the process of downsizing our debt loads to become much more fluid and flexible with the ministry. He will be working on selling his car and I am asking the Lord to help me pay down the note on my truck so I can sell it. The Lord impressed upon me that this truck would be a ministry provision for both of us. Since Mike and I both ride our motorcycles for regular commuting, we don’t particularly need a second vehicle every day of the week. The provision of this truck would allow us to both utilize it as needed and would be beneficial in our ministry as we seek to touch lives with the hands of Jesus. The man will be checking back with me next weekend to see if I have the Jaguar running, your prayers and knowledge of Jaguar automobiles are both welcomed.

Since launching Simplicity, we have had the privilege of getting to know a young woman who has beaten an addiction, staying clean for over two years now. She recently completed a job training program and has also come to faith in Jesus Christ. One of the desires of her heart has been to have her husband join her as a close partner in faith. Yesterday we had the privilege of seeing her husband join her in our Sunday celebration. God is so awesome.

One of the ladies who had attended Simplicity our first weekend was having difficulty finding our building yesterday and nearly gave up on coming. On the last attempt, I was able to guide her to the building and this morning, I learned why she was having such difficulty Yesterday the words of Christ set her free from a burden she has been carrying with her for 30 years. Nothing compares to the freedom Christ brings to our lives.

Body Life

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Romans 12:4-5 (NASB)
4 For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function,
5 so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.

Last night was a beautiful illustration of life in the body of Christ. Since launching Simplicity, we have come into fellowship with a couple who have been walking on a wonderful journey with the Lord. Their heart is for the broken and forgotten of our world, but they had not found a body to be joined together with.

So last night we got to sharing our various journeys and how God had stretched us in our understanding of His working within our lives. The greatest part of this interaction was watching the Holy Spirit speak to and through one another in profound ways. Words were shared that were freeing, reaffirming and directionally oriented. In some instances the person speaking did not realize that the words being spoken were directed towards the heart of another in the room.

This by far was one of the greatest of experiences in the early life of Simplicity.

A blessing, a bummer, a test, a provision and repentance

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Yesterday was so cram packed with opportunities, challenges and blessings that it took me a day to process it all.

I began Tuesday with a phone appointment with Ben in Hilton Head Beach, SC. God has been stirring this man’s heart towards a simplistic expression of faith for the past 4 years. He has been to conferences, read books and talked via phone and internet with some of the experts in house church life. We came into contact with each other when I saw a request he had put out over the internet for a church planter to help establish a new work in his community. We spoke for about an hour and both agreed that the Lord seemed to be bringing us together. I gave Ben some thoughts on how to find others who were yearning for the same expression of faith and we will begin working together to establish a new faith community in his community. As you are praying for Ben, ask the Lord to identify for Ben those who will join him in launching this new work.

That phone call was a high point for sure. Shortly there after we received the bummer. Our property manager in Pennsylvania called to inform us that our tenants were moving out at the end of the month, because we had not replaced the roof and it was still leaking. I actually handled this one fairly well, but Carol took it hard. I prayed for her and then left to meet with our other pastor, Mike.

While I was meeting with Mike, the Lord showed me something. The phone call with Ben was the work of God’s kingdom. It is the kind of thing that Jesus tells us to seek first. The Lord reminded me that He had already promised the provisions for my family,and that I needed to focus on seeking the provisions for the opportunities that come about. So the direction was clear, forget about the roof, God already has that in His hands, but instead focus on Ben and the planting efforts in SC, focus on the pastors in India, focus on the Organic Groups…why? The words of Jesus say it all: “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” With this marching order I shifted my focus back to the work of the Kingdom.

As I blogged about earlier, the Lord used a question about my needs to expose and confront an area of pride that was preventing the Lord from caring for me as He intends to. On Monday afternoon I had sent my needs to those who had asked and to my prayer intercessor. My intercessor wrote me back reminding me of a sermon illustration I have used about missing God’s provisions. She also reminded me that God simply wanted me to extend my hands to receive His provisions with a thankful heart.

By the time our Organic Group started last night God had brought forth three separate provisions for our family. One of these provisions was directly related to the tearing down that God did within me the previous afternoon.

One of the things that the Lord has helped me see these past few days was the error of my ways in some of my financial decisions of the past several years. This is what I mean…we currently have two vehicle payments. When we bought these vehicles we prayed and thought we were making prudent decisions by purchasing low mileage vehicles that appeared to be capable of giving a good life of service. There is a problem with those decisions they never took into account that God might ask us to drop everything and I do mean everything to follow Him in a walk of faith. We were not listening for God’s voice or allowing ourselves to be fully dependent upon God’s provisions at that point in our lives. I had a good salary and didn’t expect that would be changing, except perhaps increasing. I realize now that I need to stay as financially lean and mean as I can so that I am never prevented from following where God leads. This morning Carol and I spent some time in confession and repentance of these decisions. We are asking the Lord to show us the way in removing those burdens from our life.