Walking alone and other observations

Posted on August 26, 2009 by Carl

Yesterday Mike and I were meeting together for our weekly prayer and accountability time. As we were talking something struck me. The people we see walking the streets in front of the church never walk in groups, but instead they are always walking alone. The Lord helped me see again the isolation of this neighborhood. Everyone walks alone, because they do not allow themselves to get close to others, for fear that something will be taken from them.

The same spirit is evident in the houses. Each house has a high fence surrounding it, some even have barbed wire on the top. No trespassing signs and vicious Pit Bull’s are a common site. Again, it is driven by a fear of having something taken away.

Last week one of my intercessors had given me a proclamation to make over this neighborhood and the people of the neighborhood. The proclamation is a declaration that “the enemy has nothing to offer you, nor can he take anything away from you.” This declaration is critical, as we have had at least two people make this statement to us: “No one will ever take anything from me again.”

The other observation that we have made is that everyone passing by is carrying a bag. Plastic bags, backpacks, shoulder bags…most filled with their worldly possessions. The Lord again gave me greater clarity. Not only are the people of this neighborhood walking alone, but they are walking alone with the baggage of their life. The Lord has led us to begin praying for the release of the bondage created by the baggage.

This has been my first week of working from the Simplicity building in Corpus Christi. There has not been much foot traffic during the day, and the heavy equipment and big dirt piles out front haven’t helped that situation either.

This week I have been presented with several needs from some of my dear African pastors, in addition to our own family needs. The Lord continues to reassure us through His words to us in scripture and in prayer. I am not sure how it will all settle out, or even how all of these needs will be met, but I know I am confident in the Lord’s provision in His perfect timing.

The Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Within

Posted on August 19, 2009 by Carl

Days like today are the places where the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde within me get revealed. We began this day with enough gas in Carol’s van to get the kids to and from school today. I went into town to check the mail for a commission check I was expecting (which wasn’t there). When I got back from town, my motorcycle was nearly on empty. We have a $300 truck payment drafting through our bank account tomorrow and we currently have $6 in the bank. To top it off I awoke with a splitting headache.

I started the morning, by telling the Lord my fears and asking for His strength instead of mine and His trust in Himself to replace my own trust. I found myself at peace once I had prayed these things through and I went about my work, writing articles to promote the business websites.

About 2PM, Carol suggested we put an old twin bed on Craigslist that we had been holding back for Christopher. We learned this weekend, that he would not be needing it. We listed it for $35 ($30 for gas in Carol’s van and $5 for gas in my motorcycle) and within an hour or so we had several emails and a series of phone call from a man who was interested in picking up the bed for his son.

At around 4PM the man showed up, took a quick look at the mattress and box springs and said: “I’m going to pass.” By this time my headache had returned full tilt and the hope of seeing gas money provided for went out the window. Once again I found myself in a downward spiral of doubt, anger, fear, etc… Angry that I had turned down work for obedience; wishing God would find someone else who was stronger than I am to take on this call; and more than anything just wanting some relief.

Carol began to tell me that God would take care of us and everything would be ok. I didn’t want to hear anymore “sunshine and promises from Scripture,” and I told her so. I reminded her that our needs have not been met…how can I even teach others that God will supply all of their needs? We have more bills unpaid and delinquent than we do paid. She asked me what did I really need to see? I told her…people who will not just listen to the burdens of our life, but will actually partner with me month by month, so that I can do this work. I told her I wanted to see some growth in the businesses. I just want to see the bills paid and some sort of forward progress. With my head pounding and my stomach nauseous, I went and laid down.

When I got back up for dinner, Carol said a woman had called asking about the bed. At 8:20 this evening she gave us $35 for the bed. Enough for 2/3 tank of gas in Carol’s van and $5 of gas for my motorcycle. Our need had been met.

I choose to be transparent with you about my fears and my failures, because they are a real part of this church planting journey. Make no mistake, this journey has cost us everything….financially we are destitute, emotionally I am on fumes, and spiritually my greatest battles are the ones within. I press on though…sometimes inching forward with my fingernails, because there is a world out there that needs the hope of Jesus. Even though I give up on Him sometimes, He never gives up on me. Today He used a $35 mattress at 8:20PM to prove it to me.

As embarassed as I am to share some of this with you I realize I am in good company. Listen to the Apostle Paul’s description:

2 Corinthians 1:8 (NASB)
8 For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life;

and Elijah:

1 Kings 19:9-10 (NASB)
9 Then he came there to a cave, and lodged there; and behold, the word of the LORD came to him, and He said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
10 And he said, “I have been very zealous for the LORD, the God of hosts; for the sons of Israel have forsaken Thy covenant, torn down Thine altars and killed Thy prophets with the sword. And I alone am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.”

The battle of the flesh will not end until the day Jesus calls me to His side.

What’s whirling around my mind today

Posted on July 14, 2009 by Carl

This past Saturday we started our joint ministry venture with Summit Church. Each Saturday we are going to the central bus transfer station across from City Hall to hand out cold bottles of water. Handing out cold water has become the simplest, yet single most powerful action we do.

This past Saturday was no exception. A group of believers ranging in age from 4 months to over 40 handing out cold water with a smile and a simple word of love. It was beautiful to watch the disbelieving smiles as hot hands grasped ice cold bottles of water. My favorite was a blind man, who grinned from ear to ear as I touched the back of his hand with the cold bottle I was going to give him.

Kim got to put her ASL skills to use as she ministered to a woman she had met through the deaf center a few years ago. This woman showed us her severely injured leg, and with Kim interpreting, we laid hands on her and prayed for her healing.

Mike got to speak with another man that he has built a relationship with through the years. Speaking words of affirmation and encouragement. It truly was joy for us…our minds filled with ideas for hot coffee in the winter and other ways to make this better.

I will be sending out a request for people to help us with the purchase of bottled water and I hope some will choose to come and join us.

Finances are still a great burden right now, but the Lord has also brought forth some unexpected provisions. I’ve not been getting any calls for temp work and the Simplicity Solutions businesses are slow at the moment. I have two interviews on Thursday for a F/T management position for an optical lab and retailer and a P/T position with a government contractor. I have mixed emotions about both and wonder how these things will further/hinder the ministry in days to come if they come about at all.

I hope to have some clearer direction in the near future as I am getting to the place of needing to get my preparations in order for my upcoming trip to India.

I am simply asking the Lord to give me what I need to faithfully become the man I am called to be.

Pastor Adams gave me a report on the launching of the church in Moi’s Bridge. I thought I would share it with you:

Greetings.Thank you for your prayers for our students.We had a very successful mission and church planting.Many got saved and gave their lives.We have officially planted the church in Moi’s bridge.I will send you the full report this week.
20 students came from Uganda and other church members from Uganda joined them.We saw the mighty hand of God.
God bless.Pass my regards to all.

Thank God for overseers

Posted on July 8, 2009 by Carl

One of the most important things I did when starting Simplicity was enlisting three pastors I trust to be overseers of my ministry. After God revealed who these men needed to be, I asked these men to watch me, my actions and my ministry for things that would harm the testimony of Christ or my work in His kingdom. I have even given these three men permission to fire me from my own ministry if they ever deem it necessary, that is how much trust I place in these men.

Each month we gather together and I give them the ministry financial records, my personal finances and I discuss the joys, triumphs, defeats and struggles. This month I found myself barraged by many doubts, worries and counsel from other sources that left a stain on my soul. As I have shared these things with these men today and over the past few days, I found the Lord speaking words of life through them. These men also helped me evaluate counsel and disgard that which was not of the Lord. Clarity began emerging through the fog and the Lord helped me to see with a fresh set of eyes.

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to meet Daniel. Daniel came into the church while I was doing some work on our door lettering. Daniel was weathered and worn, having been on the streets for some time. Daniel shared with me that he had not eaten for a few days, and that he was having trouble sleeping at nights, because the mosquitoes were biting him.

I took Daniel to Dollar General to buy him some food and insect repellent. Daniel immediately headed to the cooler, grabbed a quart of milk and drank it as he walked through the store. Needless to say the employees were not real thrilled with that and asked him if he was going to pay. I told them I would take care of it and we continued shopping. I purchased a can of Off, 5 cans of Vienna Sausages, another quart of milk and a soft drink for Daniel. In the parking lot, he allowed me to pray for him and then he sat down on a bus stop to enjoy his meal.

The Lord has allowed us to get names of each person we have assisted. We continue to pray for them, that His love would penetrate the darkness in their lives and break their bondage to the streets.

Pressing On

Posted on June 29, 2009 by Carl

Uncertainty…that is a good word to describe my thoughts these days. I am certain of a few things:

the ministry of Simplicity
my role in the body of Christ

My point of clarity is in my call, most everything else seems up in the air.

As we finish out the month of June, we have only been able to pay a few household bills and are past due on the rest. We are $25 short of having the rent on our church space paid for. The businesses are only producing a few dollars here and there. I have been trying to find work, but not finding anything other than commission only positions that seem to want to nibble.

I have a unique situation, basic manual labor jobs won’t hire me because I’m overqualified or don’t have experience with that particular manual labor. White collar jobs think I’ve been away from the corporate world too long. I find myself unsure of what my steps should be.

God’s timing is interesting. As I was writing this I was called by a staffing company to come in for an interview tomorrow morning.

Yesterday was another kingdom encounter on South Staples. As we were getting ready to leave after the morning service, I heard someone shouting from across the street. A woman came over and asked if we could help her with groceries until her disability check arrived later this week. I could smell the alcohol on her breath, so I told her we would take her to the store and pick up a few staples if she would like. She agreed and off to the store we went.

I spoke to her about the alcohol on her breath and expressed my concern that it was 11AM. I asked her to be honest with me about her situation. I learned that she had just moved back to Corpus from Austin, and that she was originally from New York. She has been exposed to church and actually knows she needs to be in fellowship somewhere. Her mother is in frail health back in New York, but her relationship with her father is strained and it prevents her from going to see her mother. Her brother just finished a 15 year prison sentence, but came out a changed man after encountering Jesus in prison.

When we were done, we took her home…across the street from the church. We have been praying for a person of peace in the neighborhood, and in this woman we found the greatest receptivity to the touch of God that we have encountered since starting Simplicity. It is my hope that she will be our first person of peace in this troubled neighborhood.

The View from the Street

Posted on June 23, 2009 by Carl

I haven’t been staying too up to date on the blog lately. My mind has been pre-occupied with the concerns and burdens of life. When I returned from Africa, I was greeted a few days later with the news that the small salary I was receiving would no longer be offered. Right now our only income is Carol’s and what few donations we get. I have begun sending resume’s to employers around the area and answering help wanted ads, but so far with no success. I have enough left from cashing out my retirement savings in April to pay our rent for the next 2-3 months, but there is no money for anything else. Carol and I are currently praying about which things we let go of. I find myself telling God that my trust is fickle. I trust Him with eternity, but for some reason I struggle to trust Him with our well being. Bare cupboards and empty gas tanks have a way of revealing what is really inside of you.

The past 4 Junes have been very painful times for me. In June of 2006, I informed my church leaders that I felt the Lord was telling me it was time to move on. They received this news with an offer of their own….cutting my salary in half. In June of 2007, I was working to bring a Hispanic house church group into a partnership with the church I pastored. I spent most of June being called many unkind things and being accused of giving away “our church.” In June of 2008, the Lord called me to a week of silence, really a modern day equivalent of sack cloth and ashes. Daniel chapter 9 was the focal point of the week and by the time the week was over the Lord had me deliver the most devastating call to repentance I have ever spoken or heard. Now we come to this year…I gave up on making ends meet several months ago. I’m just asking the Lord to give me some guidance and to arrest the fear within me.

On the streets near Simplicity things are beginning to happen. Normally the things I described above are directly proportional to God’s activity somewhere else in my life and this period of life is no exception.

4 weeks ago we began an open prayer time on Tuesday nights. We placed two bright posterboard signs on our front windows with the simple question: “How can we pray for you?” 3 weeks ago as we were preparing for Sunday morning worship, a man ran across the street from the auto repair shop. He pointed at the sign and said “I need to find an apartment today.” We prayed over this man, Eddie was his name, and just as quickly as he entered, he departed.

2 weeks ago we found an envelope in our mailbox, addressed to the Simplicity Prayer Group. In this prayer request a woman cried out for deliverance for her husband from physical, emotional and financial strain.

This past Thursday as we were having our Organic Group, a disheveled man walked in off of the street. He smelled of alcohol and his request was the common request for the area…money. I spoke to him for a few minutes and offered to feed him, but I asked to pray for him first. The Lord led me to place a hand on his should and one on his chest. As I prayed over the pain in his life, the tears began to flow. The Lord began to release the pain in Kevin’s life. Kevin is still out on the streets, but he has been stirred by the touch of the Lord.

On Sundays we set out 5 gallon cooler of ice water and some donuts or other snacks for people to freely take. This last Sunday I watched as a woman walked up and took the whole box of donuts and all of the snacks, leaving none for anyone else. She stuffed them into her trash bag and talking out loud as she went immediately walked across the street. A few moments later, I saw her headed the other direction, the trash bag was now gone, but she was carrying “her box of donuts.”

We are seeing the effects of spiritual walls that permeate this neighborhood. It is our prayer that the walls come down, the eyes come open and Holy Spirit rains down.

The weekend in review

Posted on March 29, 2009 by Carl

Yesterday several of us returned to South Bluff Park. The need to return for more ministry in this park was laid heavily on the heart of one of our ladies. She ended up being ill and unable to make it, but she lovingly prepared sandwiches for the hungry wanderers who frequent the area. Others who participated provided chips, drinks and a desire to let Christ be seen in their lives.

Our time in the park was a time of contrast. We met and prayed with folks like Adam, Will, Smiley and Jenny. Each one with a unique story. As we were praying and serving one group of people, 100 yards away another group actively utilized the men’s restroom for illicit activities that involved a steady stream of customers. As we took note of the contrast, we asked the Lord to pierce the darkness with the light of His love.

Yesterday was also a day of provisions for my family. A check was received that will allow us to pay one or two bills. Money was also received that covered the cost of a month’s supply of my medications. When we returned home an envelope was found in our mailbox with the following words: “You have been on my mind lately and I felt that you might need this.” Inside the envelope was a gift card to a local grocery store. Last night we welcomed friends into our home to celebrate with us our ability to call a place home after 2 1/2 years. The provisions for the meal came from friends and the fish caught on our wedding anniversary. At the end of the night we were blessed with our latest need…toothpaste and an additional package of toilet paper.

Today during our Sunday worship gathering, we were treated to the gift of music as the Holy Spirit led us through songs about God’s faithfulness and the firm foundation of His presence. He allowed us to sing a new song that a couple of teenagers had written after a church camp nearly 6 years ago. The Lord’s presence was strongly felt throughout the morning.

This afternoon, I received a call from a man in Rockport. He had seen our ad on Craigslist for the house church we are working to launch on Padre Island. This man has worshiped in a house setting since 1971 and recently moved to Rockport. He and I agreed to work together with Holy Spirit’s guidance to form a group in his home.

Through all of these things the Lord has continued to affirm the decisions made on Wednesday. My efforts of laying a financial foundation had caused me to neglect the very call that they were meant to support. The Lord is helping me to define a proper balance in my life. The work of the Kingdom is much to0 important and the time is much too short. This week I will be seeking to further clarify God’s balance for vocation and ministry.

The journey of faith is a crescendo as the house payment is due in two days and there are still bills in arrears and needing to be paid. The lesson of this past week has been the power of God to maintain joy and peace even when circumstances are not in your favor. I find that this critical place is refining me in ways that can only be described as tremendous.

My late friend Daniel Trickey made a sign for me nearly a decade ago that has hung in my office ever since. The sign simply says “Tumultuous to Tremendous.”

God even cares about toilet paper

Posted on March 27, 2009 by Carl

Ok, so God has us on an incredible faith walk at the moment. Unpaid bills, half empty cupboard, no clear answers…just faith in daily doses. The most powerful thing that has been visible thus far is the unshakeable joy and peace that Carol and I have.

Last night when Mike and Kim were over for Organic Group they both commented on the night and day contrast in us compared to our anxiety levels when our housing was up in the air in late January. They said we were almost like different people from who were just 60 days or so ago. This in itself was a huge answer to prayer. I had asked God, to change me, even if you don’t change my circumstances. I want to be “ok” no matter what my circumstances say.

For the past week or so, we have had less than $10 to our name. Today we were down to $4 and out of toilet paper, kleenex and anything else that could be used on the daily necessities of the human digestive system. We were also down to our last package of meat.

This morning as Carol and I prayed, I made a specific prayer for toilet paper along with the other needs in our life. This morning we received a call from one of the ladies in our church who is moving next week. She had a refrigerator full of food she needed to give away before she moves. Later in the afternoon another friend called with a supply of groceries for us. Not only did God provide basic staples in these provisions, but He even provided the kid’s favorite brand of macaroni and cheese.

Along with the groceries, my friend gave Carol $20. This $20 was just enough to buy toilet paper, dishwashing soap, trash bags, paper plates and styrofoam cups. This provision met the basic needs we have for the next 24 hours.

I still don’t know how God will choose to provide for those things that are currently past due, but I know if He cares about toilet paper, He also cares about our financial obligations.

Desolate Places

Posted on March 22, 2009 by Carl

About 6 weeks ago, the Lord began to speak to me through several people of lonely times ahead. The main thrust of the message was along these lines: “Even if it is just you, keep pressing on and don’t give up.” I am so thankful that the Lord was preparing me for such a time as this.

In these last 6 weeks I have seen people move on from our ministry, I have had others act as though they never even knew me and my greatest well of strength was capped off and sealed. Financial deadlines have come and gone with no answers revealed and everything I have set my hand to could best be described as barren and lacking in fruitfulness.

Sounds pretty dismal doesn’t it? It certainly is not much fun, but it would have been much worse without the warning.

A few days ago, I was really struggling as I watched a financial deadline come and go without deliverance for the need. I often discuss that in my life God tends to operate on the 11:59:59 principle…arriving at the last second, but right on time. This time however, there was no deliverance…the deadline came and went. So I retreated to a quiet place and poured my heart out to the Lord. His instruction to me…go to the beach.

As I followed the Lord’s prompting, I drove to the Padre Island National Seashore. I parked my truck, kicked off my shoes and began walking along the water line. After nearly 45 minutes of walking began to see a figure in the distance that I at first thought was a radio antenna. As I drew closer I found that what I had been seeing was not a radio antenna, but a barren tree. Actually it wasn’t even a barren tree, but instead was a 12 foot tree limb that had been planted in the sand.

Under normal circumstances, this tree limb would not even be noticed. In fact, it would be dismissed because it was barren and distressed; however, on the seashore this tree limb is magnetic. It is the only thing standing for miles of shoreline, and because of that distinction you are drawn to it. You find yourself wondering what it is, and on closer inspection you find that it has been planted in the sand.

As I looked at this scene the Lord began to speak to me about my circumstances. He pointed out that my life is much like that branch. He has planted me in a place of isolation and loneliness where my life becomes magnified to all who see it. The sight of a man standing under such difficult circumstances draws them closer. As they come closer they see the establishing work of God taking place in my life. If I had been planted in a lush, fertile environment, God’s work in my life might be overlooked; however, it is through my unique presence in such a barren place that His work become prominent.

I must admit, I didn’t at first find much peace in those words…in fact, they were somewhat difficult to hear. Then the Lord showed me something else. He had me turn around and look out at the waves as they came ashore. He had me take note of the pelicans flying over the water and the crabs in the sand. He reminded me that this sad looking tree had something no other tree had…a front row seat to the beauty of the Gulf and all that comes with it.

This morning, Mike led us through the transfiguration. The Lord again spoke to me some deep truths during this time. The two men who appeared with Jesus were Moses and Elijah…two men who knew what it meant to go it alone. We speculated as to what the conversation might have been, and I felt impressed that some of it was a reminder that the path of glory often includes extended visits to desolate places.

Roster Changes

Posted on February 16, 2009 by Carl

I have been working with church planters for the past 6 years or so. During that time I learned that a church planter usually goes through a roster change at some point after the launch of their ministry. The core group that you launch with inevitably will go through some changes in the months that follow.

We have been going through a time of roster change over the past 4-6 weeks. Some are not finding what they were looking for in our ministry; others were meant to join us for a short season. In either case, these times are God’s proving ground of resolve and commitment. God uses these transition points to prove out your willingness to stick.

I find our Lord amazing. He began speaking to us about this time a few weeks ago. Over a matter of days a handful of people made statements like: “God is asking you to stay the course even if you only have one person” and “God has put you here for His purposes, don’t determine your call by the results currently in front of you.”

As we began the year, the Lord was speaking clearly about foundations and we are now seeing the deeper meaning of that word. The Lord is using this time of transition to focus our attention on the firm foundations of His word, His presence and His ways.

I liken this time in our ministry to a line change in a hockey game. During line changes, the action stops momentarily, so that the needed personnel can take the ice.

Journey To Simplicity