Tag Archives: spirituality

The Challenge of Silence

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Over the past few days, I took part in the 2nd of a 3 retreat series I began in the fall, called “Longing for His Presence.”  This series of retreats was designed to help ministers draw closer to God by building spiritual disciplines in their lives.  Learning how to use silence and solitude for this formation process is a key part of the retreat series.

For this second retreat 60-70% of our time was spent in silence and solitude.  I look forward to these times and have made this a practice in my life for about the last 6 -7 years.   I look forward to these times, because I am able to clear out the distractions, noise and demands of life for a few days and hear clearly what God wants to say to me.  As you might expect, these times bring about great challenges as well, because the Lord is always interested in shaping me and molding me.

This retreat was no different, and I now find myself beginning an intensive period of drawing close to the Lord that stretches me to the limits, but God is out to show Himself powerful and faithful.   I anticipate that in the weeks to come I will have greater clarity about the things that lie before me.  As I mentioned before the Lord is taking us through some roster changes.  I learned just yesterday that another one of our “team” will be moving in the coming months.

It is important that I remain focused on the one who gives the call and not the call itself.  Right now my greatest desire of the Lord is to find His perfect balance.  I find that as I am having to focus more time on trying to build businesses that I am unable to devote the time I normally have to things like writing.   Both are key aspects of my life, I need the Master’s help in planning out the stewardship of who I am.

Roster Changes

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I have been working with church planters for the past 6 years or so.  During that time I learned that a church planter usually goes through a roster change at some point after the launch of their ministry.   The core group that you launch with inevitably will go through some changes in the months that follow.

We have been going through a time of roster change over the past 4-6 weeks.   Some are not finding what they were looking for in our ministry; others were meant to join us for a short season.   In either case, these times are God’s proving ground of resolve and commitment.   God uses these transition points to prove out your willingness to stick.

I find our Lord amazing.  He began speaking to us about this time a few weeks ago.  Over a matter of days a handful of people made statements like:  “God is asking you to stay the course even if you only have one person” and “God has put you here for His purposes, don’t determine your call by the results currently in front of you.”

As we began the year, the Lord was speaking clearly about foundations and we are now seeing the deeper meaning of that word.  The Lord is using this time of transition to focus our attention on the firm foundations of His word, His presence and His ways.

I liken this time in our ministry to a line change in a hockey game.   During line changes, the action stops momentarily, so that the needed personnel can take the ice.

Lean Not on Your Own Understanding…

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For the past 6-8 weeks or so, the Lord has continued to give Carol, myself and our intercessor the same passage of scripture as we would go before Him.

Proverbs 3:5 (NASB)

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding.

This scripture always seemed to be present when we were praying about our housing situation.   Every time we would hear this verse we would see so many different ways it could be applied to our search, but we just weren’t getting any further clarity on where we needed to be looking.

A few weeks ago, my business partner asked me if I would consider living in a mobile home and he even went so far as to go on a fact finding mission for me at a local mobile home park.   As doors continued to close in front of Carol and I we decided to explore this option.  Last night Carol and the kids toured several parks, but came away without a real sense of peace about any of the trailers they looked at.   So today, being our only real day to look we decided to go back to one of the parks after looking at some houses this morning that just didn’t fit.

She showed me the trailer she had looked at the night before, but both of us came away with the same sense that this particular trailer wasn’t our answer.  As we were driving away, she pointed out an attractive double-wide that was for sale by owner at the far end of the trailer park.   We called the number on the sign, and low and behold they were home (I must warn you, there is a twist in the unfolding of events…you haven’t solved the case yet Sherlock Holmes).   We went inside and met the owners who were moving due to the husband’s terminal illness and his need for in home care.  As I looked around, the trailer was nice, but there were large gaps between the two halves of the trailer and part of the  ceiling was breaking away from water damage.  This wasn’t it either.

Carol and I left, dumbfounded and asking ourselves “now what?”  As we were driving away, the phone rang.  It was the wife from the trailer we had just been in.   She told Carol that her sister, who had been at the trailer when we were there, had a house on Padre Island that had been wrecked by the previous tenants.  She said that if we were willing to paint and clean carpets she would be willing to reduce the rental.   As we turned back around, I told Carol:  “this sounds like a God thing taking shape.”

When we returned to the trailer, we were met by the sister of the trailer owner’s wife.   She jumped in the van and said, “let me show you the house.”   As we drove towards Padre Island, we learned that her husband had passed away a couple of years ago and that she didn’t want to live there anymore.   She said the previous tenants had ruined the carpets and the walls, requiring a lot of elbow grease.

When we arrived, we found a 4 bedroom brick home with a pool and ample space for our Organic Groups.   The work needed was primarily clean up and cosmetic.   When I asked her what she wanted for rent and she named what our price range was.   When I asked her what the work was worth, she indicated that it was worth at least one month’s rent, but she also stated her need for some rental income from it.  I told her what we were currently paying and asked her if we could pay her that same amount for February and March, discounting for the clean up work.   We agreed to begin paying the full rental amount in April.  She suggested we put it in writing, so on a notepad we drew up those terms and she handed us the key.   No pet deposit, no rental deposit and just what we needed when we need it.

God being the loving Father that He is, went far above what we needed.  Placing us 3 blocks from my favorite fishing spot, giving me a place to exercise daily with my favorite activity…swimming!   And by positioning us on the Island, our ministry now has placement in 3 key areas of Corpus Christi.

God is so awesome…please take a moment and give Him your best “just gotta praise You dance.”

Caution…Contents Under Extreme Pressure!

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I have now come to refer to the year 2008 as my year of deconstruction.  It was during 2008 that the Lord took me through the most painful, yet most freeing journey of my spiritual life with one question:  “Am I the Lord of every kingdom of your heart.”   2008 was so painful and so challenging on so many levels that I was ready to breathe easier as the calendar rolled to 2009; however, as we come towards the home stretch of January, I am quickly realizing that there are miles to go before I am ready to fit the vision that God has given me for Simplicity.

We have known for some time that we would need to move at the end of January.   As we have been praying for God’s clear direction for our next place, the suggestions have been many.   Move here, do this, try this, go this way, etc…   Some seemed as though they were of God’s leading, but as we followed their path, we did not find God’s provision at the end.  So here we are 8 days away from needing to move.  We have no clear direction, $60 in our bank account, a vacant house in Pennsylvania and the list goes on.   These first weeks of our business endeavors drain more money than they bring in and our peace has been fragile at best.

Yesterday, as I learned of a costly mistake I had made in our finances, that fragile peace fell apart.  A few more hailstones of bad news were lobbed into the mix and once again, I found myself like Peter, drowning in a sea of circumstances.  It isn’t where I wanted to be…I was begging forgiveness even as I was sinking, because I knew my eyes were off of the Master.   Try as I might, I could not get my eyes locked on, all I could do was gasp and hurt.

Yesterday afternoon, I spent time with some of the wisest men I know or have ever had the privilege of interacting with.  For the past two years, this group of men has walked together, each of us sharpening one another.  During our time, one of my closest advisers, brought our attention back to a passage that has captivated him for years (I’ve underlined the part that was meant for me in these days of refining):

2 Corinthians 1:8-10 (NASB)

8 For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life;
9 indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves in order that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead;
10 who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us,

These words were both comforting and distressing at the same time.  This is the Apostle Paul speaking to us…being very transparent.  In Carl’s loose translation he is saying:  “We were so over our heads, that we didn’t want to live anymore…”  Utter despair, overwhelmed by circumstance and paralyzed by fear…the place I’ve found myself in these past few weeks.

Well meaning people tell you…”just give it to the Lord.”   I’m finding that there are times that you don’t even have strength to give it to the Lord.  This also rang true with me in these words of Paul…it took a death sentence to self to bring about trust.  What I find happening in my life right now seems very similar.  God is putting to death all of the things that I trust in besides Him.  Many of these things I never knew were there, I thought they were conquered.   Unfortunately it takes severe upheaval to flesh those things out and sadly for me, it usually takes more than once.

This morning was no exception.  I awoke, determined to live in God’s peace once again, but quickly found myself helplessly and ashamedly adrift on the same sea once again.  God, however, did something different today as I cried and begged for peace, mercy and new focus.  He didn’t immediately extend His saving hand to me, but instead He allowed the despair to run its course.  From deep within flowed accusations, self righteous defiance, and challenges to God’s love for me.   Even though I knew my words were wrong, I continued to shake my indignant finger and chastise the “injustice” in my life.  A tidal wave of frustration, emotion, rage and fleshly sinfulness spewed forth from deep within the closets of my heart.   I wanted to quit life, quit the ministry, lash out against those who have taken careless liberties with my life…my spirit grieving, knowing these things to be lies from the pit of hell, and yet they were gushing out of my inner man.  As the gusher began to subside, brokenness consumed me, I wept with such pain, covered in the guilt and shame of my fleshly response….that which had been churning below the surface was now in full view and the only choice left was honesty and repentance.

These past few weeks, I have been teaching on Jesus’ interactions with the disciples.  This week it was Peter’s water walking adventure.  When I see Peter’s life, I find myself reflected.  A man who will risk anything for God, but doesn’t always understand the cost.  Why did Peter jump out of the boat?  Because He being with Jesus was worth the risk.  Why did he sink and why did he run?  He wasn’t dead to himself at that point.  Yet, Jesus knew all of this about Peter and these experiences were preparing him for the call ahead.  Jesus was looking for a man who would risk everything to declare the message of Jesus, in Peter He found such a man.  It would take a near drowning, 3 denials and a host of other hits, runs and errors to prepare him.  Add the filling of the Holy Spirit and Peter moved from loose cannon to being the “rock” upon which Jesus established His church.

In that flood of despair this morning came an impassioned confession, that I am tapped out.  My supply of strength, endurance and resources is gone.  I am watching my inner strength flatline, I have no other option, but to allow God to carry me the next step.

Tonight I am seeing things through new eyes once again.   These past 24 hours have truly been a failure of the flesh, but they have also been a victory of the Spirit.  God cleaned out some hidden closets, crawl spaces and attic hideaways today.   He allowed me to crash harder than I can remember in my lifetime.  He has allowed me to see the pain in the eyes of my wife that I could not comfort and the uncertainty in the face of my children that I could not alleviate.  Those things have been necessary to remind me of Paul’s words:  “That we should not trust in ourselves.”

I share these things, not for your sympathy, but instead so you will watch my life to see the One 10 who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us…once again.

From Theory to Reality

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I’ve been talking quite a bit lately about the business model that I call Simplicity Solutions that is meant to run along side the ministry of Simplicity.   One of the 4 purposes of Simplicity Solutions is to create business opportunities for those who are getting back on their feet.

There are currently two people that God has put into my life that fit that description.  Both have overcome difficult odds and by God’s grace have made the choice to move beyond the past.   In both cases finding work has been difficult due to transportation, education, related work experience, etc…

Today the Lord impressed upon me that it was time to move Simplicity Solutions from theory to reality.  So I established dealer relationships for both of them with Fuller Brush Company.  Starting next week we will begin canvassing businesses and neighborhoods with Fuller Catalogs working to build their businesses.   It is my responsibility to help them be successful in this venture, so I will work very closely with them in the early stages to get them moving forward quickly.

It will be interesting to see where this part of the journey takes us, but I believe when all is said and done God intends to leave us all in awe of His work on our behalf.

If you would like to see what Fuller Brush has to offer, we would love to have you as our customer.  Please visit www.fullerbrushsolutions.com to see our product lines.

The Wonderful Ways of God

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Today my business partner and I met with the factory rep for the Spinner II product that his company sells.   My business partner had asked me at the end of last week if I would change my relationship from that of a consultant to that of a key player in the company.   He and I share the same vision of using commerce as a means of bringing Christ into the market place and furthering the ministry work of God’s kingdom.

I shared with him, that my concern was the same as with my own companies…I can see the future potential, but what do I do to pay today’s expenses.   At that moment my friend said, “I meant to tell you I’m going to pay you the X dollars you need each month to make ends meet.”  I asked him if we could stop right there and I expressed my gratitude to the Lord for His glorious provisions.

I taught Sunday on Jesus feeding the 5,000.  As part of the teaching I talked about the need to look for the places that God is bringing order to the chaos of our circumstances.   For example Jesus instructed the crowd to be seated, but then he had them divided into groups of 50 and 100.   Jesus was bringing order to the chaos as he brought the miracle of the feeding into full view.

I have been watching the Lord bring order to my friend’s business for the past 3 months and have had a strong sense that we were about to see an amazing move of God in it.   Today I am even more convinced that the hand of God will be unmistakable in the days to come.  The Lord has been preparing me this week by having me study Gideon once again.  Gideon was addressed by the Angel of the Lord as a “Mighty Warrior.”   This title was not an accurate description of Gideon at that moment in time, but instead described the man God would transform him into.

The molding of this journey has been difficult, but the crucible is a place of refinement for the fulfilling of our God given purpose.

Saying Goodbye to 2008

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When 2008 began, the journey to Simplicity was the furthest thing from my mind.   I had just completed year number 1 in my latest pastorate and was boiling over with excitement with the addition of a full-time worship minister, the first in nearly 5 years.   2007, had been filled with some bumpy road along the way, but 2008 was looking grand.

As the year progressed, the Lord would take me through the deepest spiritual journey of my life.  I would spend a week in silence before the Lord, culminating with the deliverance of the most devastating message the Lord has ever had me speak to a group of people.   I spent the summer being pressured by others to back away from the proclamations of that message and ultimately watched as all the Lord had declared came to pass in September.  By the time it was all said and done the ministry was on life support, the staff were released by the Lord to follow Him in new directions and I found myself asking, “Where do I go.”

The answer to that question had been formed in my spirit some months earlier.  The Lord had birthed a desire for simple faith, that was powerful in its manifestation.   In a matter of 6 weeks, Simplicity moved from prayer journal to reality.   I began to see God moving in and through me in ways, I had been yearning for.   I watched as lives changed and God’s love released the prisoner from their chains.

Of course, powerful moves of God do not come without opposition.  The hiccups and obstacles have been constant…cars, toilet seats, personality conflicts…yet God remains faithful.   With each obstacle the vision is refined and reinforced.

2008 could best be summarized as the refining of my faith.  It all began with the question:  “Am I the Lord of every kingdom of your heart.”   It is ending with the challenge:  “How far will you trust Me?”

As Mike and I prayed over the direction of our lives and ministry yesterday, the Lord’s direction was clear.  Focus on building the foundation.  In this directive are many things that we know will stretch us both further than we’ve been stretched before.   In our ears rings the question:  “How far will you trust Me?”

Mike and I both sense that 2009 is a turning point both personally and in our ministry call.  For my family 2008 was the completion of what I am understanding to be a 7 year crucible of refinement.  The past seven years have included surviving a direct hit from a killer tornado, a business failure, financial loss and hardship, a miscarriage, personal trials on every side.   A few months ago, my intercessor inquired of God as to why the pressure was great on my life?  The answer given to her was that the Lord was making me “unbreakable.”  I laughed and said, “If this is what it takes to be unbreakable, what is the pressure I will be up against in the future?”

I look at our world today, and I understand that God needs unbreakable men and women.  People who will say yes, in spite of the personal cost.   The message of Christ is no longer gladly received and many will choose to hide their light in the heat of opposition.

As we approach 2009, I believe God is opening a door of opportunity for the body of Christ.  I believe the difficulties in our nation will once again have people crying out to God for deliverance.  It is for this very reason that I believe God is molding and positioning us to be the bearers of the “Good News” we’ve been given.

Christmas Eve Reflections

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For the past decade, I have always conducted a candlelight Christmas Eve service at the church.   This services were  usually filled with church members and their families.  Christmas carols were sung and the account of Jesus’ birth was told.

This year the Lord led me in a different direction.  During our first visit to South Bluff Park, I saw so many who had no family to call their own; no place that they could truly call home; no one who took an interest in their life.  Mike and I talked, both feeling that we should be in the park once again on Christmas Eve, bringing the tangible love of Christ through the body of Christ.

This afternoon we fired up two barbecue pits in the center of the park and commenced to cooking 64 hamburgers and 56 hot dogs.   Over a two hour period we fed men, women and children, even making deliveries to a few nearby shut-ins.  Some of those we fed had not eaten yet today and possibly even yesterday.   For those who have been hidden from the light of Christ’s love, there is a magnetic quality to their encounters with His presence.  Mike and I see that we are beginning to earn the trust of those around the neighborhood and we believe it is only a matter of time before we are allowed to begin quenching the spiritual hunger as well.

Tonight about 10:15, my phone rang.  It was one of the men I had ministered to last Thursday.  He was not able to get lodging at one of the shelters, because he didn’t have any identification.  He had arranged to stay with a co-worker in Flour Bluff, but needed a ride there.   I was the only person he could think of and he still had my business card.   As he and I drove, the evidence of God’s love for him was evident.  He had already found new work and had been able to work three days this week.   He asked if after he got back on his feet, he could hitch a ride with me to church…I told him that he didn’t even need to be back on his feet for that to happen.

As I left him at his co-worker’s home, I found myself overcome by two deep seated emotions.   One was sadness.  It saddens me in a nation of opportunity, that so many are in such bondage.  Make no mistake, many are there because of their own decisions.; yet, I know that Jesus came to seek and save those who are lost.   I grieved tonight to see so many without hope, without life, without the fullness of Christ.   On the other hand, I was equally moved by joy and gratefulness.   As I cooked hamburgers and hot dogs today, I was surrounded by my wife and children.  I was joined by Mike, Kim and their daughter Brooke.   I knew I would leave the park and return to a familiar place of residence, sleep in my own bed, eat when I was hungry and spend the evening laughing as I relished the company of those I am closest to.

Tomorrow we will be opening our home to the young man I took fishing last week.  Tonight we made his stocking (and Elishba’s too) and wrapped his presents.   For him this will be his first ever family celebration of Christmas.  He grew up not knowing the love, support and joy of family.   I hope that what he will truly see is the family of God in all of its fullness.

I hope you have a Christ filled Christmas.

Simply a vessel

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Today I have watched as the Lord reached into His toolbox and chose me as His vessel of choice.   What a thrill it is to be used of the Master as He goes about the work of the Kingdom.

This morning, Carol and I were talking and she mentioned that she really felt as though the Lord wanted me to spend some time in prayer at the building today.  I felt much the same, as I have been wrestling through my own uncertainties over the past few days.

After having lunch with a friend I went to the building and began praying.   The Lord led me to deal with some things in my life, most notably my “attitude” this Christmas.  This is the first year in my life, that I have not had a Christmas tree up in my home (it is buried in a stack of storage boxes in the garage).   This is the first year my wife and I have not trekked out to joyfully purchase presents for our children (finances have not allowed for it).   Needless to say, I was having a bit of a pity party.   The Lord; however, is always good about bringing me back to reality and today was no exception.   He reminded me that I have been ministering to people this week with no roof over their heads and no source of food and no bathroom and no family and no….you get the picture.   I spent time in repentance over the “importance” I have placed upon the “traditions” of our family.   In reality having our family and having our Savior are simply enough.

As I finished working through that, I went into a time of silent listening.   As I was listening, I heard the door open and looked up to see two men entering, removing their hats and looking down at the floor.   I learned that they had been living out of a truck at one of the parks while they were doing framing work on the island.  Unfortunately, the man who they were working for skipped out with their money and the Marina Patrol was threatening to tow their truck if it wasn’t moved.    I offered to put gas in the truck to help them get down the road.  Unfortunately, when we got to the parking area, the truck had already been towed.

Both men were horribly distraught and so we returned to the church and prayed.   They asked me to take them to a co-worker’s apartment and as I was driving there, the Lord prompted me to ask a simple question:  “Have you guys eaten?”   I learned that it had been a number of days since each man had eaten, and so I immediately found the nearest Whataburger and ordered these men their first hot meal in days.   As we were driving one of the men reminded me of this passage of scripture:

Hebrews 13:2 (NASB)

2 Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.

Tonight I picked up a man who we met on Saturday during our breakfast at the park.  Sunday we were able to find him housing and Tuesday he joined us for Organic Group.  When I watched him Tuesday I noticed a conflict going on in his spirit as the Holy Spirit began to move through our time together.   Tonight, I asked him about the conflict and he shared a raging battle within, one side calling him the enemy of God and the other calling him a child of God.  I told him that at some point in the evening I wanted to lay hands on him and pray.

As we were getting started Mike all of the sudden changed gears.  He later shared with me that God told him to go no further with the Bible discussion he had planned, but instead directed him to focus us on the God’s love.   As we began to talk about what God was showing us through the Holy Spirit, I again noticed the conflict welling up within this man and the Lord prompted me that I needed to pray over him.   I asked him if he could tell me who Jesus was to him?  He responded by giving me a historical account of Jesus, so I asked him again, “who is He to you?”   He began to stammer and shift, at which point I asked him, “Are you able to say these words:  ‘Jesus is Lord of my life?'”   He immediately began laughing and said its hard for me to say that.   He then laughed again and I asked if I could pray, to which he responded, “Do you what you have to.”    As I began to speak the name of Jesus over him, he began to sigh deeply and then he began to weep.    Once I had finished praying we sat in silence for a few moments, when he asked if he could pray.  I said yes, but I’m going to let you pray from your heart.   As he began to pray tears  were still visible in his eyes and he made this profession, “Jesus you are the Lord of my life, my Savior and King.”   Mike told me later that at this point his countenance had changed.   We both sensed that the bondage of this man’s soul was broken this evening.

One of the things I am learning about this man is that he has never had a true friend or even a family.  We will be opening our home to him this Christmas and tomorrow I am taking him fishing for the first time in his life.   God could have used anyone, but today He chose me.   Glory unto His name!