Desolate Places

Posted on March 22, 2009 by Carl

About 6 weeks ago, the Lord began to speak to me through several people of lonely times ahead. The main thrust of the message was along these lines: “Even if it is just you, keep pressing on and don’t give up.” I am so thankful that the Lord was preparing me for such a time as this.

In these last 6 weeks I have seen people move on from our ministry, I have had others act as though they never even knew me and my greatest well of strength was capped off and sealed. Financial deadlines have come and gone with no answers revealed and everything I have set my hand to could best be described as barren and lacking in fruitfulness.

Sounds pretty dismal doesn’t it? It certainly is not much fun, but it would have been much worse without the warning.

A few days ago, I was really struggling as I watched a financial deadline come and go without deliverance for the need. I often discuss that in my life God tends to operate on the 11:59:59 principle…arriving at the last second, but right on time. This time however, there was no deliverance…the deadline came and went. So I retreated to a quiet place and poured my heart out to the Lord. His instruction to me…go to the beach.

As I followed the Lord’s prompting, I drove to the Padre Island National Seashore. I parked my truck, kicked off my shoes and began walking along the water line. After nearly 45 minutes of walking began to see a figure in the distance that I at first thought was a radio antenna. As I drew closer I found that what I had been seeing was not a radio antenna, but a barren tree. Actually it wasn’t even a barren tree, but instead was a 12 foot tree limb that had been planted in the sand.

Under normal circumstances, this tree limb would not even be noticed. In fact, it would be dismissed because it was barren and distressed; however, on the seashore this tree limb is magnetic. It is the only thing standing for miles of shoreline, and because of that distinction you are drawn to it. You find yourself wondering what it is, and on closer inspection you find that it has been planted in the sand.

As I looked at this scene the Lord began to speak to me about my circumstances. He pointed out that my life is much like that branch. He has planted me in a place of isolation and loneliness where my life becomes magnified to all who see it. The sight of a man standing under such difficult circumstances draws them closer. As they come closer they see the establishing work of God taking place in my life. If I had been planted in a lush, fertile environment, God’s work in my life might be overlooked; however, it is through my unique presence in such a barren place that His work become prominent.

I must admit, I didn’t at first find much peace in those words…in fact, they were somewhat difficult to hear. Then the Lord showed me something else. He had me turn around and look out at the waves as they came ashore. He had me take note of the pelicans flying over the water and the crabs in the sand. He reminded me that this sad looking tree had something no other tree had…a front row seat to the beauty of the Gulf and all that comes with it.

This morning, Mike led us through the transfiguration. The Lord again spoke to me some deep truths during this time. The two men who appeared with Jesus were Moses and Elijah…two men who knew what it meant to go it alone. We speculated as to what the conversation might have been, and I felt impressed that some of it was a reminder that the path of glory often includes extended visits to desolate places.

The Latest Buzz

Posted on March 16, 2009 by Carl

I really feel as though I’m dropping the ball on blogging. My business pursuits have taken the majority of my time and they still don’t really provide for our family, but if I have learned anything over these last few months it has been the necessity of casting the nets again and again, even if you don’t see the catch. The Lord has taught me that sometimes the provisions come through the sweat of my brow and many times they come from the unseen riches of heaven.

As I mentioned a few posts ago, we are going through roster changes right now in the ministry. Baby Micah was born a few weeks ago, some who started with us have moved on, two more will be moving out of state in the coming weeks and Carol and I are now in a different geographic and cultural setting.

We were hoping to launch a Wednesday night Organic Group at the first of March, but the enemy began to rear his ugly head in the lives of those who were to host it. That group is currently on hold and we are praying for a deliverance to take place in this family’s life.

Carol and I have begun to make some new acquaintances here on the Island and have decided to launch a new Organic Group starting this Thursday. We are excited about returning this home to the Lord for His use and glory. We have already had opportunity to bless the kids in our neighborhood by having them over to swim.

The Lord has been speaking to me about my call to the nations for the past few years. In May, I will return to that call as I spend May 6-19th in Western Kenya and Eastern Uganda. I will be teaching pastors and church leaders during my visit, plus I have been invited to speak in a large prison in Kenya. The highlight of the journey will be the oversight of the graduation ceremonies for Redeemer Bible College, which Simplicity became the sponsoring ministry for last year. The 28 students graduating will be the first Bible College graduates in the Bukwo District of Uganda. This is such a big event that several high ranking government officials will be in attendance. The Lord has been building my contacts in Uganda for the past 3-4 years, so I am excited to begin meeting these men of God face to face.

In October, I will once again return to India to work alongside my dear brother Paul in Tamilnadu. In addition I will be working with another dear co-laborer, Santhosh, in Andra Pradesh. My trip to Andra Pradesh has been in the works for a number of years as well, so the opportunity to bless these workers in the Lord’s fields is a great honor.

This past week also allowed one of the core values of Simplicity was seen working as it is intended. We learned of a dear brother and sister in Christ who had a pressing need that required financial provision. We were able to make a large donation in conjunction with other believers to meet this need. Our part was made possible, because we don’t pay salaries, cell phone bills and other staffing costs. Working in this bi-vocational capacity is tough, uncertain and at times down right hair raising, but this week the value of the sacrifice was played out and Jesus was seen in His body.

Right now, I find myself waiting upon the Lord’s revelation in a few key areas.

Allowing the Lord to show me the true nature of my call at this point in the journey
Allowing the Lord to provide the financial provisions for the work that He has called me to
Allowing the Lord to show me His ongoing source of provision for our family

Getting Used to My Skin

Posted on March 10, 2009 by Carl

The Lord has been speaking to me about the call on my life for the past few years. It is a big picture I can see, but I have trouble at times discerning the finer details and especially connecting the dots that move me fully into that role. I

I was sharing with a friend today, that I have trouble seeing where the role of struggling entrepreneur on March 10, 2009 fits into the picture at the moment, but I know perseverence is the key. There are times you wished that God’s vision came with Mapquest type instructions, but ultimately faith would never be built if it did.

The Lord has shown me the importance of tent making in my call, I just wish I was more adept at it.

So Easy…An 11 Year Old Can Do It

Posted on March 4, 2009 by Carl

While I was away on business a few weeks ago, my 11 year old led the Organic Group that meets on Tuesday nights. Last night he asked me if he could lead the discussions again and I happily said yes. It was so amazing to watch the Holy Spirit work through him. He was asked a question early on in the discussion of Mark 8 that was very deep. The answer that came out of him was even deeper, well beyond the wisdom of an 11 year old boy. It was truly the voice of the Lord speaking through him, with depth and clarity.

This is just another incredible example of life in the body of Christ. God can use any willing vessel to do His marvelous work among us. Last night it just so happened it was my 11 year old son.

Tonight we will be launching a new Organic Group with the couple who have become key to our Thursday night Organic Group. She just started a new job and Thursdays were not going to work for them, so we decided it was time to start another group.

The Challenge of Silence

Posted on February 25, 2009 by Carl

Over the past few days, I took part in the 2nd of a 3 retreat series I began in the fall, called “Longing for His Presence.” This series of retreats was designed to help ministers draw closer to God by building spiritual disciplines in their lives. Learning how to use silence and solitude for this formation process is a key part of the retreat series.

For this second retreat 60-70% of our time was spent in silence and solitude. I look forward to these times and have made this a practice in my life for about the last 6 -7 years. I look forward to these times, because I am able to clear out the distractions, noise and demands of life for a few days and hear clearly what God wants to say to me. As you might expect, these times bring about great challenges as well, because the Lord is always interested in shaping me and molding me.

This retreat was no different, and I now find myself beginning an intensive period of drawing close to the Lord that stretches me to the limits, but God is out to show Himself powerful and faithful. I anticipate that in the weeks to come I will have greater clarity about the things that lie before me. As I mentioned before the Lord is taking us through some roster changes. I learned just yesterday that another one of our “team” will be moving in the coming months.

It is important that I remain focused on the one who gives the call and not the call itself. Right now my greatest desire of the Lord is to find His perfect balance. I find that as I am having to focus more time on trying to build businesses that I am unable to devote the time I normally have to things like writing. Both are key aspects of my life, I need the Master’s help in planning out the stewardship of who I am.

Roster Changes

Posted on February 16, 2009 by Carl

I have been working with church planters for the past 6 years or so. During that time I learned that a church planter usually goes through a roster change at some point after the launch of their ministry. The core group that you launch with inevitably will go through some changes in the months that follow.

We have been going through a time of roster change over the past 4-6 weeks. Some are not finding what they were looking for in our ministry; others were meant to join us for a short season. In either case, these times are God’s proving ground of resolve and commitment. God uses these transition points to prove out your willingness to stick.

I find our Lord amazing. He began speaking to us about this time a few weeks ago. Over a matter of days a handful of people made statements like: “God is asking you to stay the course even if you only have one person” and “God has put you here for His purposes, don’t determine your call by the results currently in front of you.”

As we began the year, the Lord was speaking clearly about foundations and we are now seeing the deeper meaning of that word. The Lord is using this time of transition to focus our attention on the firm foundations of His word, His presence and His ways.

I liken this time in our ministry to a line change in a hockey game. During line changes, the action stops momentarily, so that the needed personnel can take the ice.

Foundation Work

Posted on February 10, 2009 by Carl

At the beginning of the year, as Mike and I prayed, the Lord impressed upon us that this would be a year of building the foundational pieces of our ministry. As we enter into the second month of the year, I find this to be very true. The Lord has had us evaluating our role in benevolence and our roles as ministers. Carol and I moved to the Island opening a new place of ministry to us. We are more clearly seeing who the Lord is molding through us and those that God is using to walk beside us. The Lord used our housing turmoil to continue to flush pockets of flesh out of my soul.

As we look forward to the spring, I have been invited to attend the graduation activities of our Bible college in Uganda. This group of 37 are the first graduates of the first Bible college in their region of Uganda.

Simplicity Solutions is also slowly taking shape, but sales are coming slow. The Lord is once again showing me that He alone is the Lord of the harvest.

Back to the blog

Posted on February 8, 2009 by Carl

It has been a few weeks since I updated the blog. Moving has been a huge experience as we are finally reuniting with all of our household furnishings and office furnishings. For the past two years we have been living one place, storing furniture at another, and storing more items somewhere else.

We now have two sitting areas developed and the bedrooms and kitchen pretty much unpacked. We hope to have a house warming party at the first of March.

Tomorrow I will articulate the spiritual journey for the past few months and give you some insight on what God is doing with Simplicity these days.

Lean Not on Your Own Understanding…

Posted on January 23, 2009 by Carl

For the past 6-8 weeks or so, the Lord has continued to give Carol, myself and our intercessor the same passage of scripture as we would go before Him.

Proverbs 3:5 (NASB)

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding.

This scripture always seemed to be present when we were praying about our housing situation. Every time we would hear this verse we would see so many different ways it could be applied to our search, but we just weren’t getting any further clarity on where we needed to be looking.

A few weeks ago, my business partner asked me if I would consider living in a mobile home and he even went so far as to go on a fact finding mission for me at a local mobile home park. As doors continued to close in front of Carol and I we decided to explore this option. Last night Carol and the kids toured several parks, but came away without a real sense of peace about any of the trailers they looked at. So today, being our only real day to look we decided to go back to one of the parks after looking at some houses this morning that just didn’t fit.

She showed me the trailer she had looked at the night before, but both of us came away with the same sense that this particular trailer wasn’t our answer. As we were driving away, she pointed out an attractive double-wide that was for sale by owner at the far end of the trailer park. We called the number on the sign, and low and behold they were home (I must warn you, there is a twist in the unfolding of events…you haven’t solved the case yet Sherlock Holmes). We went inside and met the owners who were moving due to the husband’s terminal illness and his need for in home care. As I looked around, the trailer was nice, but there were large gaps between the two halves of the trailer and part of the ceiling was breaking away from water damage. This wasn’t it either.

Carol and I left, dumbfounded and asking ourselves “now what?” As we were driving away, the phone rang. It was the wife from the trailer we had just been in. She told Carol that her sister, who had been at the trailer when we were there, had a house on Padre Island that had been wrecked by the previous tenants. She said that if we were willing to paint and clean carpets she would be willing to reduce the rental. As we turned back around, I told Carol: “this sounds like a God thing taking shape.”

When we returned to the trailer, we were met by the sister of the trailer owner’s wife. She jumped in the van and said, “let me show you the house.” As we drove towards Padre Island, we learned that her husband had passed away a couple of years ago and that she didn’t want to live there anymore. She said the previous tenants had ruined the carpets and the walls, requiring a lot of elbow grease.

When we arrived, we found a 4 bedroom brick home with a pool and ample space for our Organic Groups. The work needed was primarily clean up and cosmetic. When I asked her what she wanted for rent and she named what our price range was. When I asked her what the work was worth, she indicated that it was worth at least one month’s rent, but she also stated her need for some rental income from it. I told her what we were currently paying and asked her if we could pay her that same amount for February and March, discounting for the clean up work. We agreed to begin paying the full rental amount in April. She suggested we put it in writing, so on a notepad we drew up those terms and she handed us the key. No pet deposit, no rental deposit and just what we needed when we need it.

God being the loving Father that He is, went far above what we needed. Placing us 3 blocks from my favorite fishing spot, giving me a place to exercise daily with my favorite activity…swimming! And by positioning us on the Island, our ministry now has placement in 3 key areas of Corpus Christi.

God is so awesome…please take a moment and give Him your best “just gotta praise You dance.”

Caution…Contents Under Extreme Pressure!

Posted on January 22, 2009 by Carl

I have now come to refer to the year 2008 as my year of deconstruction. It was during 2008 that the Lord took me through the most painful, yet most freeing journey of my spiritual life with one question: “Am I the Lord of every kingdom of your heart.” 2008 was so painful and so challenging on so many levels that I was ready to breathe easier as the calendar rolled to 2009; however, as we come towards the home stretch of January, I am quickly realizing that there are miles to go before I am ready to fit the vision that God has given me for Simplicity.

We have known for some time that we would need to move at the end of January. As we have been praying for God’s clear direction for our next place, the suggestions have been many. Move here, do this, try this, go this way, etc… Some seemed as though they were of God’s leading, but as we followed their path, we did not find God’s provision at the end. So here we are 8 days away from needing to move. We have no clear direction, $60 in our bank account, a vacant house in Pennsylvania and the list goes on. These first weeks of our business endeavors drain more money than they bring in and our peace has been fragile at best.

Yesterday, as I learned of a costly mistake I had made in our finances, that fragile peace fell apart. A few more hailstones of bad news were lobbed into the mix and once again, I found myself like Peter, drowning in a sea of circumstances. It isn’t where I wanted to be…I was begging forgiveness even as I was sinking, because I knew my eyes were off of the Master. Try as I might, I could not get my eyes locked on, all I could do was gasp and hurt.

Yesterday afternoon, I spent time with some of the wisest men I know or have ever had the privilege of interacting with. For the past two years, this group of men has walked together, each of us sharpening one another. During our time, one of my closest advisers, brought our attention back to a passage that has captivated him for years (I’ve underlined the part that was meant for me in these days of refining):

2 Corinthians 1:8-10 (NASB)

8 For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life;
9 indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves in order that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead;
10 who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us,

These words were both comforting and distressing at the same time. This is the Apostle Paul speaking to us…being very transparent. In Carl’s loose translation he is saying: “We were so over our heads, that we didn’t want to live anymore…” Utter despair, overwhelmed by circumstance and paralyzed by fear…the place I’ve found myself in these past few weeks.

Well meaning people tell you…”just give it to the Lord.” I’m finding that there are times that you don’t even have strength to give it to the Lord. This also rang true with me in these words of Paul…it took a death sentence to self to bring about trust. What I find happening in my life right now seems very similar. God is putting to death all of the things that I trust in besides Him. Many of these things I never knew were there, I thought they were conquered. Unfortunately it takes severe upheaval to flesh those things out and sadly for me, it usually takes more than once.

This morning was no exception. I awoke, determined to live in God’s peace once again, but quickly found myself helplessly and ashamedly adrift on the same sea once again. God, however, did something different today as I cried and begged for peace, mercy and new focus. He didn’t immediately extend His saving hand to me, but instead He allowed the despair to run its course. From deep within flowed accusations, self righteous defiance, and challenges to God’s love for me. Even though I knew my words were wrong, I continued to shake my indignant finger and chastise the “injustice” in my life. A tidal wave of frustration, emotion, rage and fleshly sinfulness spewed forth from deep within the closets of my heart. I wanted to quit life, quit the ministry, lash out against those who have taken careless liberties with my life…my spirit grieving, knowing these things to be lies from the pit of hell, and yet they were gushing out of my inner man. As the gusher began to subside, brokenness consumed me, I wept with such pain, covered in the guilt and shame of my fleshly response….that which had been churning below the surface was now in full view and the only choice left was honesty and repentance.

These past few weeks, I have been teaching on Jesus’ interactions with the disciples. This week it was Peter’s water walking adventure. When I see Peter’s life, I find myself reflected. A man who will risk anything for God, but doesn’t always understand the cost. Why did Peter jump out of the boat? Because He being with Jesus was worth the risk. Why did he sink and why did he run? He wasn’t dead to himself at that point. Yet, Jesus knew all of this about Peter and these experiences were preparing him for the call ahead. Jesus was looking for a man who would risk everything to declare the message of Jesus, in Peter He found such a man. It would take a near drowning, 3 denials and a host of other hits, runs and errors to prepare him. Add the filling of the Holy Spirit and Peter moved from loose cannon to being the “rock” upon which Jesus established His church.

In that flood of despair this morning came an impassioned confession, that I am tapped out. My supply of strength, endurance and resources is gone. I am watching my inner strength flatline, I have no other option, but to allow God to carry me the next step.

Tonight I am seeing things through new eyes once again. These past 24 hours have truly been a failure of the flesh, but they have also been a victory of the Spirit. God cleaned out some hidden closets, crawl spaces and attic hideaways today. He allowed me to crash harder than I can remember in my lifetime. He has allowed me to see the pain in the eyes of my wife that I could not comfort and the uncertainty in the face of my children that I could not alleviate. Those things have been necessary to remind me of Paul’s words: “That we should not trust in ourselves.”

I share these things, not for your sympathy, but instead so you will watch my life to see the One 10 who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us…once again.

Journey To Simplicity