Desolate Places

About 6 weeks ago, the Lord began to speak to me through several people of lonely times ahead.   The main thrust of the message was along these lines:  “Even if it is just you, keep pressing on and don’t give up.”   I am so thankful that the Lord was preparing me for such a time as this.

In these last 6 weeks I have seen people move on from our ministry, I have had others act as though they never even knew me and my greatest well of strength was capped off and sealed.   Financial deadlines have come and gone with no answers revealed and everything I have set my hand to could best be described as barren and lacking in fruitfulness.

Sounds pretty dismal doesn’t it?  It certainly is not much fun, but it would have been much worse without the warning.

A few days ago, I was really struggling as I watched a financial deadline come and go without deliverance for the need.  I often discuss that in my life God tends to operate on the 11:59:59 principle…arriving at the last second, but right on time.   This time however, there was no deliverance…the deadline came and went.   So I retreated to a quiet place and poured my heart out to the Lord.   His instruction to me…go to the beach.

As I followed the Lord’s prompting, I drove to the Padre Island National Seashore.  I parked my truck, kicked off my shoes and began walking along the water line.   After nearly 45 minutes of walking  began to see a figure in the distance that I at first thought was a radio antenna.  As I drew closer I found that what I had been seeing was not a radio antenna, but a barren tree.   Actually it wasn’t even a barren tree, but instead was a 12 foot tree limb that had been planted in the sand.

Under normal circumstances, this tree limb would not even be noticed.  In fact, it would be dismissed because it was barren and distressed; however, on the seashore this tree limb is magnetic.   It is the only thing standing for miles of shoreline, and because of that distinction you are drawn to it.  You find yourself wondering what it is, and on closer inspection you find that it has been planted in the sand.

As I looked at this scene the Lord began to speak to me about my circumstances.  He pointed out that my life is much like that branch.   He has planted me in a place of isolation and loneliness where my life becomes magnified to all who see it.  The sight of a man standing under such difficult circumstances draws them closer.   As they come closer they see the establishing work of God taking place in my life.  If I had been planted in a lush, fertile environment, God’s work in my life might be overlooked; however, it is through my unique presence in such a barren place that His work become prominent.

I must admit, I didn’t at first find much peace in those words…in fact, they were somewhat difficult to hear.   Then the Lord showed me something else.   He had me turn around and look out at the waves as they came ashore.   He had me take note of the pelicans flying over the water and the crabs in the sand.   He reminded me that this sad looking tree had something no other tree had…a front row seat to the beauty of the Gulf and all that comes with it.

This morning, Mike led us through the transfiguration.   The Lord again spoke to me some deep truths during this time.  The two men who appeared with Jesus were Moses and Elijah…two men who knew what it meant to go it alone.  We speculated as to what the conversation might have been, and I felt impressed that some of it was a reminder that the path of glory often includes extended visits to desolate places.

The Latest Buzz

I really feel as though I’m dropping the ball on blogging.   My business pursuits have taken the majority of my time and they still don’t really provide for our family, but if I have learned anything over these last few months it has been the necessity of casting the nets again and again, even if you don’t see the catch.   The Lord has taught me that sometimes the provisions come through the sweat of my brow and many times they come from the unseen riches of heaven.

As I mentioned a few posts ago, we are going through roster changes right now in the ministry.  Baby Micah was born a few weeks ago, some who started with us have moved on, two more will be moving out of state in the coming weeks and Carol and I are now in a different geographic and cultural setting.

We were hoping to launch a Wednesday night Organic Group at the first of March, but the enemy began to rear his ugly head in the lives of those who were to host it.   That group is currently on hold and we are praying for a deliverance to take place in this family’s life.

Carol and I have begun to make some new acquaintances here on the Island and have decided to launch a new Organic Group starting this Thursday.   We are excited about returning this home to the Lord for His use and glory.   We have already had opportunity to bless the kids in our neighborhood by having them over to swim.

The Lord has been speaking to me about my call to the nations for the past few years.   In May, I will return to that call as I spend May 6-19th in Western Kenya and Eastern Uganda.  I will be teaching pastors and church leaders during my visit, plus I have been invited to speak in a large prison in Kenya.   The highlight of the journey will be the oversight of the graduation ceremonies for Redeemer Bible College, which Simplicity became the sponsoring ministry for last year.   The 28 students graduating will be the first Bible College graduates in the Bukwo District of Uganda.  This is such a big event that several high ranking government officials will be in attendance.   The Lord has been building my contacts in Uganda for the past 3-4 years, so I am excited to begin meeting these men of God face to face.

In October, I will once again return to India to work alongside my dear brother Paul in Tamilnadu.  In addition I will be working with another dear co-laborer, Santhosh, in Andra Pradesh.   My trip to Andra Pradesh has been in the works for a number of years as well, so the opportunity to bless these workers in the Lord’s fields is a great honor.

This past week also allowed one of the core values of Simplicity was seen working as it is intended.   We learned of a dear brother and sister in Christ who had a pressing need that required financial provision.   We were able to make a large donation in conjunction with other believers to meet this need.   Our part was made possible, because we don’t pay salaries, cell phone bills and other staffing costs.   Working in this bi-vocational capacity is tough, uncertain and at times down right hair raising, but this week the value of the sacrifice was played out and Jesus was seen in His body.

Right now, I find myself waiting upon the Lord’s revelation in a few key areas.

  1. Allowing the Lord to show me the true nature of my call at this point in the journey
  2. Allowing the Lord to provide the financial provisions for the work that He has called me to
  3. Allowing the Lord to show me His ongoing source of provision for our family

Getting Used to My Skin

The Lord has been speaking to me about the call on my life for the past few years.   It is a big picture I can see, but I have trouble at times discerning the finer details and especially connecting the dots that move me fully into that role.  I

I was sharing with a friend today, that I have trouble seeing where the role of struggling entrepreneur on March 10, 2009 fits into the picture at the moment, but I know perseverence is the key.   There are times you wished that God’s vision came with Mapquest type instructions, but ultimately faith would never be built if it did.

The Lord has shown me the importance of tent making in my call, I just wish I was more adept at it.

The Challenge of Silence

Over the past few days, I took part in the 2nd of a 3 retreat series I began in the fall, called “Longing for His Presence.”  This series of retreats was designed to help ministers draw closer to God by building spiritual disciplines in their lives.  Learning how to use silence and solitude for this formation process is a key part of the retreat series.

For this second retreat 60-70% of our time was spent in silence and solitude.  I look forward to these times and have made this a practice in my life for about the last 6 -7 years.   I look forward to these times, because I am able to clear out the distractions, noise and demands of life for a few days and hear clearly what God wants to say to me.  As you might expect, these times bring about great challenges as well, because the Lord is always interested in shaping me and molding me.

This retreat was no different, and I now find myself beginning an intensive period of drawing close to the Lord that stretches me to the limits, but God is out to show Himself powerful and faithful.   I anticipate that in the weeks to come I will have greater clarity about the things that lie before me.  As I mentioned before the Lord is taking us through some roster changes.  I learned just yesterday that another one of our “team” will be moving in the coming months.

It is important that I remain focused on the one who gives the call and not the call itself.  Right now my greatest desire of the Lord is to find His perfect balance.  I find that as I am having to focus more time on trying to build businesses that I am unable to devote the time I normally have to things like writing.   Both are key aspects of my life, I need the Master’s help in planning out the stewardship of who I am.

Foundation Work

At the beginning of the year, as Mike and I prayed, the Lord impressed upon us that this would be a year of building the foundational pieces of our ministry.   As we enter into the second month of the year, I find this to be very true.   The Lord has had us evaluating our role in benevolence and our roles as ministers.   Carol and I moved to the Island opening a new place of ministry to us.   We are more clearly seeing who the Lord is molding through us and those that God is using to walk beside us.  The Lord used our housing turmoil to continue to flush pockets of flesh out of my soul.

As we look forward to the spring, I have been invited to attend the graduation activities of our Bible college in Uganda.  This group of 37 are the first graduates of the first Bible college in their region of Uganda.

Simplicity Solutions is also slowly taking shape, but sales are coming slow.  The Lord is once again showing me that He alone is the Lord of the harvest.

Back to the blog

It has been a few weeks since I updated the blog.   Moving has been a huge experience as we are finally reuniting with all of our household furnishings and office furnishings.   For the past two years we have been living one place, storing furniture at another, and storing more items somewhere else.

We now have two sitting areas developed and the bedrooms and kitchen pretty much unpacked.  We hope to have a house warming party at the first of March.

Tomorrow I will articulate the spiritual journey for the past few months and give you some insight on what God is doing with Simplicity these days.

Caution…Contents Under Extreme Pressure!

I have now come to refer to the year 2008 as my year of deconstruction.  It was during 2008 that the Lord took me through the most painful, yet most freeing journey of my spiritual life with one question:  “Am I the Lord of every kingdom of your heart.”   2008 was so painful and so challenging on so many levels that I was ready to breathe easier as the calendar rolled to 2009; however, as we come towards the home stretch of January, I am quickly realizing that there are miles to go before I am ready to fit the vision that God has given me for Simplicity.

We have known for some time that we would need to move at the end of January.   As we have been praying for God’s clear direction for our next place, the suggestions have been many.   Move here, do this, try this, go this way, etc…   Some seemed as though they were of God’s leading, but as we followed their path, we did not find God’s provision at the end.  So here we are 8 days away from needing to move.  We have no clear direction, $60 in our bank account, a vacant house in Pennsylvania and the list goes on.   These first weeks of our business endeavors drain more money than they bring in and our peace has been fragile at best.

Yesterday, as I learned of a costly mistake I had made in our finances, that fragile peace fell apart.  A few more hailstones of bad news were lobbed into the mix and once again, I found myself like Peter, drowning in a sea of circumstances.  It isn’t where I wanted to be…I was begging forgiveness even as I was sinking, because I knew my eyes were off of the Master.   Try as I might, I could not get my eyes locked on, all I could do was gasp and hurt.

Yesterday afternoon, I spent time with some of the wisest men I know or have ever had the privilege of interacting with.  For the past two years, this group of men has walked together, each of us sharpening one another.  During our time, one of my closest advisers, brought our attention back to a passage that has captivated him for years (I’ve underlined the part that was meant for me in these days of refining):

2 Corinthians 1:8-10 (NASB)

8 For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life;
9 indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves in order that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead;
10 who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us,

These words were both comforting and distressing at the same time.  This is the Apostle Paul speaking to us…being very transparent.  In Carl’s loose translation he is saying:  “We were so over our heads, that we didn’t want to live anymore…”  Utter despair, overwhelmed by circumstance and paralyzed by fear…the place I’ve found myself in these past few weeks.

Well meaning people tell you…”just give it to the Lord.”   I’m finding that there are times that you don’t even have strength to give it to the Lord.  This also rang true with me in these words of Paul…it took a death sentence to self to bring about trust.  What I find happening in my life right now seems very similar.  God is putting to death all of the things that I trust in besides Him.  Many of these things I never knew were there, I thought they were conquered.   Unfortunately it takes severe upheaval to flesh those things out and sadly for me, it usually takes more than once.

This morning was no exception.  I awoke, determined to live in God’s peace once again, but quickly found myself helplessly and ashamedly adrift on the same sea once again.  God, however, did something different today as I cried and begged for peace, mercy and new focus.  He didn’t immediately extend His saving hand to me, but instead He allowed the despair to run its course.  From deep within flowed accusations, self righteous defiance, and challenges to God’s love for me.   Even though I knew my words were wrong, I continued to shake my indignant finger and chastise the “injustice” in my life.  A tidal wave of frustration, emotion, rage and fleshly sinfulness spewed forth from deep within the closets of my heart.   I wanted to quit life, quit the ministry, lash out against those who have taken careless liberties with my life…my spirit grieving, knowing these things to be lies from the pit of hell, and yet they were gushing out of my inner man.  As the gusher began to subside, brokenness consumed me, I wept with such pain, covered in the guilt and shame of my fleshly response….that which had been churning below the surface was now in full view and the only choice left was honesty and repentance.

These past few weeks, I have been teaching on Jesus’ interactions with the disciples.  This week it was Peter’s water walking adventure.  When I see Peter’s life, I find myself reflected.  A man who will risk anything for God, but doesn’t always understand the cost.  Why did Peter jump out of the boat?  Because He being with Jesus was worth the risk.  Why did he sink and why did he run?  He wasn’t dead to himself at that point.  Yet, Jesus knew all of this about Peter and these experiences were preparing him for the call ahead.  Jesus was looking for a man who would risk everything to declare the message of Jesus, in Peter He found such a man.  It would take a near drowning, 3 denials and a host of other hits, runs and errors to prepare him.  Add the filling of the Holy Spirit and Peter moved from loose cannon to being the “rock” upon which Jesus established His church.

In that flood of despair this morning came an impassioned confession, that I am tapped out.  My supply of strength, endurance and resources is gone.  I am watching my inner strength flatline, I have no other option, but to allow God to carry me the next step.

Tonight I am seeing things through new eyes once again.   These past 24 hours have truly been a failure of the flesh, but they have also been a victory of the Spirit.  God cleaned out some hidden closets, crawl spaces and attic hideaways today.   He allowed me to crash harder than I can remember in my lifetime.  He has allowed me to see the pain in the eyes of my wife that I could not comfort and the uncertainty in the face of my children that I could not alleviate.  Those things have been necessary to remind me of Paul’s words:  “That we should not trust in ourselves.”

I share these things, not for your sympathy, but instead so you will watch my life to see the One 10 who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us…once again.

From Theory to Reality

I’ve been talking quite a bit lately about the business model that I call Simplicity Solutions that is meant to run along side the ministry of Simplicity.   One of the 4 purposes of Simplicity Solutions is to create business opportunities for those who are getting back on their feet.

There are currently two people that God has put into my life that fit that description.  Both have overcome difficult odds and by God’s grace have made the choice to move beyond the past.   In both cases finding work has been difficult due to transportation, education, related work experience, etc…

Today the Lord impressed upon me that it was time to move Simplicity Solutions from theory to reality.  So I established dealer relationships for both of them with Fuller Brush Company.  Starting next week we will begin canvassing businesses and neighborhoods with Fuller Catalogs working to build their businesses.   It is my responsibility to help them be successful in this venture, so I will work very closely with them in the early stages to get them moving forward quickly.

It will be interesting to see where this part of the journey takes us, but I believe when all is said and done God intends to leave us all in awe of His work on our behalf.

If you would like to see what Fuller Brush has to offer, we would love to have you as our customer.  Please visit www.fullerbrushsolutions.com to see our product lines.

The Wonderful Ways of God

Today my business partner and I met with the factory rep for the Spinner II product that his company sells.   My business partner had asked me at the end of last week if I would change my relationship from that of a consultant to that of a key player in the company.   He and I share the same vision of using commerce as a means of bringing Christ into the market place and furthering the ministry work of God’s kingdom.

I shared with him, that my concern was the same as with my own companies…I can see the future potential, but what do I do to pay today’s expenses.   At that moment my friend said, “I meant to tell you I’m going to pay you the X dollars you need each month to make ends meet.”  I asked him if we could stop right there and I expressed my gratitude to the Lord for His glorious provisions.

I taught Sunday on Jesus feeding the 5,000.  As part of the teaching I talked about the need to look for the places that God is bringing order to the chaos of our circumstances.   For example Jesus instructed the crowd to be seated, but then he had them divided into groups of 50 and 100.   Jesus was bringing order to the chaos as he brought the miracle of the feeding into full view.

I have been watching the Lord bring order to my friend’s business for the past 3 months and have had a strong sense that we were about to see an amazing move of God in it.   Today I am even more convinced that the hand of God will be unmistakable in the days to come.  The Lord has been preparing me this week by having me study Gideon once again.  Gideon was addressed by the Angel of the Lord as a “Mighty Warrior.”   This title was not an accurate description of Gideon at that moment in time, but instead described the man God would transform him into.

The molding of this journey has been difficult, but the crucible is a place of refinement for the fulfilling of our God given purpose.

Exciting Times

These are certainly exciting times for me.  Tomorrow we will have our first baptism service since launching Simplicity.  I will have the privilege of baptizing 3 who have put their faith in Christ.  We will be conducting the baptisms at Emerald Beach along the Corpus Christi bayfront.

This week, I finally got my dealership materials to begin the primary businesses of Simplicity Solutions.  Simplicity Solutions is the for profit enterprise that will be used to support my family, fund the work of Simplicity Church Network, help church planters develop businesses to support their families and create businesses for those trying to get on their feet.

After much searching I narrowed down my MLM ventures to four companies that offer a wide range of product:

  • Amsoil – Synthetic oils and lubricants for automotive and industrial applications
  • Aggrand – Organic fertilizers and supplements for agriculture (part of the Amsoil family)
  • Amway Global – They’ve moved beyond soap and granola bars and now partner with mainline stores such as Office Depot, Barnes & Noble, etc…
  • Commission River – Primarily focused on telecom and internet technologies, can be operated e-commerce or traditionally marketed.
  • Fuller Brush Company – Based in Great Bend, KS (where I began my investment firm in 2001).  Fuller Brush manufactures commercial/household care and cleaning supplies.

In addition, we are running a number of e-commerce sites through both Commission River and Amazon.   These include:

  • The Fone Store – Cell phones, upgrades and service through all of the major carriers
  • International SIM Cards – Allows you to use your cell phone overseas(144 countries) with high competitive per minute rates
  • Cardparison – Compare current rates, features and offers from multiple credit card issuers
  • Anglerz Supply – Fishing tackle and supplies
  • Luv My Hog – All things Harley Davidson
  • HealthMartXpress – An online health and wellness shop, along the lines of the corner drug store

The latter three e-commerce sites are affiliate stores of Amazon.com.  Sales made through these stores generate a commission for the sale.  Additionally, any product offered on Amazon.com can be purchased through these sites and also generates commission.

Those who are interested in supporting our ministry in an ongoing manner can simply become customers of the products and services we sell.  Carol and I began this business enterprise by seeking the Lord’s guidance for the portion that was immediately His.  We be giving the first 30% of revenue from Simplicity Solutions to the Lord for the furtherance of His work.

Please feel free to contact me if you would like more information on the business model, product catalogs or to place orders.