Friday thoughts

I finally had two job interviews yesterday.  The process for both positions will take some time, so we’ll see where the Lord leads.   I continue to ask Him to clearly show me His direction for my life and the ministry of Simplicity.   Carol and I both believe that this time is more about the process of searching out the heart of God and less about the end result.   We both sense that the answer will once again be something that at this point is out of view and not on our radar screen.   Time will tell.

Carol and Kim attended a woman’s conference last night at Corpus Christi Christian Fellowship, so Mike and I had Organic Group with our kids.   The conversation was not as free flowing as it is when Kim and Carol are with us, but it was still good none the less.   We had studied Mark 13:14-23 on Sunday, so we were discussing these passages on the tribulation.   It was great getting to help my kids better understand a passage that is difficult for adults much less a 7 and 11 year old.

After Organic Group, we went back to Mike’s house and he played a documentary movie for me called The Heart of Texas.  This is one of the most powerful stories I have ever heard.   The movie profiles a community tragedy that displayed God’s love in a powerful way through the response of the family affected.   I don’t tend to get overly emotional, but this was a very emotional movie for me to watch, especially with my two youngest children near by.   To see God’s power moving in a circumstance that few of us could ever imagine.

This weekend we will be handing out water at the central bus terminal again and having our monthly cookout on the parking lot at Simplicity.

What’s whirling around my mind today

This past Saturday we started our joint ministry venture with Summit Church.   Each Saturday we are going to the central bus transfer station across from City Hall to hand out cold bottles of water.   Handing out cold water has become the simplest, yet single most powerful action we do.

This past Saturday was no exception.   A group of believers ranging in age from 4 months to over 40 handing out cold water with a smile and a simple word of love.   It was beautiful to watch the disbelieving smiles as hot hands grasped ice cold bottles of water.    My favorite was a blind man, who grinned from ear to ear as I touched the back of his hand with the cold bottle I was going to give him.

Kim got to put her ASL skills to use as she ministered to a woman she had met through the deaf center a few years ago.  This woman showed us her severely injured leg, and with Kim interpreting, we laid hands on her and prayed for her healing.

Mike got to speak with another man that he has built a relationship with through the years.  Speaking words of affirmation and encouragement.   It truly was joy for us…our minds filled with ideas for hot coffee in the winter and other ways to make this better.

I will be sending out a request for people to help us with the purchase of bottled water and I hope some will choose to come and join us.

Finances are still a great burden right now, but the Lord has also brought forth some unexpected provisions.   I’ve not been getting any calls for temp work and the Simplicity Solutions businesses are slow at the moment.  I have two interviews on Thursday for a F/T management position for an optical lab and retailer and a P/T position with a government contractor.   I have mixed emotions about both and wonder how these things will further/hinder the ministry in days to come if they come about at all.

I hope to have some clearer direction in the near future as I am getting to the place of needing to get my preparations in order for my upcoming trip to India.

I am simply asking the Lord to give me what I need to faithfully become the man I am called to be.

Pastor Adams gave me a report on the launching of the church in Moi’s Bridge.  I thought I would share it with you:

Greetings.Thank you for your prayers for our students.We had a very successful mission and church planting.Many got saved and gave their lives.We have officially planted the church in Moi’s bridge.I will send you the full report this week.
20 students came from Uganda and other church members from Uganda joined them.We saw the mighty hand of God.
God bless.Pass my regards to all.

Thank God for overseers

One of the most important things I did when starting Simplicity was enlisting three pastors I trust to be overseers of my ministry.  After God revealed who these men needed to be, I asked these men to watch me, my actions and my ministry for things that would harm the testimony of Christ or my work in His kingdom.    I have even given these three men permission to fire me from my own ministry if they ever deem it necessary, that is how much trust I place in these men.

Each month we gather together and I give them the ministry financial records, my personal finances and I discuss the joys, triumphs, defeats and struggles.   This month I found myself barraged by many doubts, worries and counsel from other sources that left a stain on my soul.   As I have shared these things with these men today and over the past few days, I found the Lord speaking words of life through them.   These men also helped me evaluate counsel and disgard that which was not of the Lord.  Clarity began emerging through the fog and the Lord helped me to see with a fresh set of eyes.

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to meet Daniel.   Daniel came into the church while I was doing some work on our door lettering.   Daniel was weathered and worn, having been on the streets for some time.   Daniel shared with me that he had not eaten for a few days, and that he was having trouble sleeping at nights, because the mosquitoes were biting him.

I took Daniel to Dollar General to buy him some food and insect repellent.   Daniel immediately headed to the cooler, grabbed a quart of milk and drank it as he walked through the store.  Needless to say the employees were not real thrilled with that and asked him if he was going to pay.  I told them I would take care of it and we continued shopping.  I purchased a can of Off, 5 cans of Vienna Sausages, another quart of milk and a soft drink for Daniel.   In the parking lot, he allowed me to pray for him and then he sat down on a bus stop to enjoy his meal.

The Lord has allowed us to get names of each person we have assisted.  We continue to pray for them, that His love would penetrate the darkness in their lives and break their bondage to the streets.

Pressing On

Uncertainty…that is a good word to describe my thoughts these days.  I am certain of a few things:

  • the ministry of Simplicity
  • my role in the body of Christ

My point of clarity is in my call, most everything else seems up in the air.

As we finish out the month of June, we have only been able to pay a few household bills and are past due on the rest.  We are $25 short of having the rent on our church space paid for.   The businesses are only producing a few dollars here and there.  I have been trying to find work, but not finding anything other than commission only positions that seem to want to nibble.

I have a unique situation, basic manual labor jobs won’t hire me because I’m overqualified or don’t have experience with that particular manual labor.   White collar jobs think I’ve been away from the corporate world too long.   I find myself unsure of what my steps should be.

God’s timing is interesting.  As I was writing this I was called by a staffing company to come in for an interview tomorrow morning.

Yesterday was another kingdom encounter on South Staples.   As we were getting ready to leave after the morning service, I heard someone shouting from across the street.  A woman came over and asked if we could help her with groceries until her disability check arrived later this week.   I could smell the alcohol on her breath, so I told her we would take her to the store and pick up a few staples if she would like.   She agreed and off to the store we went.

I spoke to her about the alcohol on her breath and expressed my concern that it was 11AM.  I asked her to be honest with me about her situation.   I learned that she had just moved back to Corpus from Austin, and that she was originally from New York.    She has been exposed to church and actually knows she needs to be in fellowship somewhere.  Her mother is in frail health back in New York, but her relationship with her father is strained and it prevents her from going to see her mother.   Her brother just finished a 15 year prison sentence, but came out a changed man after encountering Jesus in prison.

When we were done, we took her home…across the street from the church.   We have been praying for a person of peace in the neighborhood, and in this woman we found the greatest receptivity to the touch of God that we have encountered since starting Simplicity.  It is my hope that she will be our first person of peace in this troubled neighborhood.

The View from the Street

I haven’t been staying too up to date on the blog lately.  My mind has been pre-occupied with the concerns and burdens of life.   When I returned from Africa, I was greeted a few days later with the news that the small salary I was receiving would no longer be offered.   Right now our only income is Carol’s and what few donations we get.   I have begun sending resume’s to employers around the area and answering help wanted ads, but so far with no success.   I have enough left from cashing out my retirement savings in April to pay our rent for the next 2-3 months, but there is no money for anything else.   Carol and I are currently praying about which things we let go of.     I find myself telling God that my trust is fickle.  I trust Him with eternity, but for some reason I struggle to trust Him with our well being.   Bare cupboards and empty gas tanks have a way of revealing what is really inside of you.

The past 4 Junes have been very painful times for me.  In June of 2006, I informed my church leaders that I felt the Lord was telling me it was time to move on.   They received this news with an offer of their own….cutting my salary in half.   In June of 2007, I was working to bring a Hispanic house church group into a partnership with the church I pastored.   I spent most of June being called many unkind things and being accused of giving away “our church.”   In June of 2008, the Lord called me to a week of silence, really a modern day equivalent of sack cloth and ashes.  Daniel chapter 9 was the focal point of the week and by the time the week was over the Lord had me deliver the most devastating call to repentance I have ever spoken or heard.   Now we come to this year…I gave up on making ends meet several months ago.   I’m just asking the Lord to give me some guidance and to arrest the fear within me.

On the streets near Simplicity things are beginning to happen.   Normally the things I described above are directly proportional to God’s activity somewhere else in my life and this period of life is no exception.

4 weeks ago we began an open prayer time on Tuesday nights.   We placed two bright posterboard signs on our front windows with the simple question: “How can we pray for you?”   3 weeks ago as we were preparing for Sunday morning worship, a man ran across the street from the auto repair shop.   He pointed at the sign and said “I need to find an apartment today.”    We prayed over this man, Eddie was his name, and just as quickly as he entered, he departed.

2 weeks ago we found an envelope in our mailbox, addressed to the Simplicity Prayer Group.   In this prayer request a woman cried out for deliverance for her husband from physical, emotional and financial strain.

This past Thursday as we were having our Organic Group, a disheveled man walked in off of the street.   He smelled of alcohol and his request was the common request for the area…money.   I spoke to him for a few minutes and offered to feed him, but I asked to pray for him first.   The Lord led me to place a hand on his should and one on his chest.  As I prayed over the pain in his life, the tears began to flow.   The Lord began to release the pain in Kevin’s life.   Kevin is still out on the streets, but he has been stirred by the touch of the Lord.

On Sundays we set out 5 gallon cooler of ice water and some donuts or other snacks for people to freely take.  This last Sunday I watched as a woman walked up and took the whole box of donuts and all of the snacks, leaving none for anyone else.  She stuffed them into her trash bag and talking out loud as she went immediately walked across the street.   A few moments later, I saw her headed the other direction, the trash bag was now gone, but she was carrying “her box of donuts.”

We are seeing the effects of spiritual walls that permeate this neighborhood.  It is our prayer that the walls come down, the eyes come open and Holy Spirit rains down.

2 Days and Counting

It is hard to believe that in 2 days I will board a plane here in Corpus Christi and spend the next 24 hours making my way to Africa.   This trip has me lit up with anticipation of all that God seeks to do in Kenya and Uganda, but more importantly in me.   This is not my first mission trip overseas alone, but there is a difference this time.  I have a greater awareness this go around of my full dependence upon God.

Those who pray for me and give regular counsel are all saying similar things.  Each one reiterating the understanding that this trip is the Lord’s doorway into the next chapter of my ministry call and my walk with Him.   The Lord has spent the last several months taking me through the process of complete surrender to Him.   Every step of faith has been a practical exercise in drawing closer to Him.

The word the Lord has given me for this journey is “steadfastness.”  I will be speaking to these Christian leaders about examples of standing firm…Moses, Joseph, Daniel and others.    This word is also for me.   The Lord has been teaching me how to stand firm, even when it seems nearly impossible.

When I return, we will be considering our next steps as a ministry.  The Lord has been speaking to me about “mobility” in serving the body and we find ourselves through the transitions of life once again honed down to a core nucleus in our ministry.   The Lord is at work, but He has not yet fully revealed His plan for Simplicity in the days to come.

Time alone with God

Last September I started a retreat series called “Longing for His Presence.”  The purpose of this series is to help a person build solid spiritual formation disciplines into their lives.  Each retreat is 2 1/2 days in length and focuses on a few key disciplines.  In the first retreat about 30% of the time is spent in silence and the remaining 70% is content.  The second retreat is about 60% silence and solitude and 40% content.   The third retreat is 90% silence and solitude and 10% content.

Today I completed the third retreat.  My time in silence and solitude before the Lord was very refreshing.  I found that my soul had grown somewhat parched and I needed a refreshing flood of the Lord’s presence.   The theme for this retreat was John 15 and for me the key thought was “Abide in My rest.”

Over the past 2 1/2 days the Lord has reminded me of His great love, His all sufficient grace and His constant presence.   He also helped me to see some things about myself more clearly.   The greatest illumination came in the area of my expectancy.   Over the past few years, the Lord has been preparing my heart for some exciting things.   With these preparations came a sense of expectancy; however, over time I have allowed that sense of expectancy in some ways to become an expectation of how God should be moving and at what speed.   This subtle shift creates an undesirable quality in my character…impatience.   I found myself today asking the Lord to give me a new found joy in times of waiting.

The Lord also showed me that I struggle with wanting to see stability and structure in my circumstances, because I often view myself as unworthy to fulfill the call on my life.   Humbling revelations about myself, yet they are very accurate.   A fellow brother helped me to see this reality more clearly…he chuckled, because I was already doing the things I felt unworthy to be doing.

Tomorrow it will be one week until I leave for Kenya and Uganda.   I still lack about $2,000 of covering my ground transportation, lodging and meals.   I know the Lord will provide, even though those provisions are not realized yet.  Living on the edge in faith and walking in complete trust are all apart of the journey He has me on.

Weekend Update

Yesterday Mike and I met up at the church with my friend William, who leads a local intercessory prayer ministry here in Corpus Christi.  William and his wife had been at our house warming last week and heard some of the spiritual warfare things Mike and I were encountering.   He had asked us to meet with him, so that he could encourage us and provide some basic principles for us to utilize in this area of our faith walk.

Within a matter of hours I found it necessary to deploy some of these suggestions, especially those dealing with expanding my prayer covering.   Before the day was over, we would see Christopher encounter a serious blowout on a Houston freeway with a car full of Navy cadets, our daughter would crash her bicycle into our pool and the ignition switch went out on our van.

Christopher's car after the blowout

Christopher's car after the blowout

After the Loop 610 incident

After the Loop 610 incident

Yet through it all, God showed Himself faithful.  Christopher and the other cadets were not hurt.   Caitlyn was scared, but also unhurt (although her CD player didn’t survive 4ft of water) and a tap from a rubber handle on a socket wrench got the key to turn in the van.

During the afternoon we called on those that God impressed upon us to surround us in a covering of prayer.   By 4PM, the spirit of peace within me was overwhelming…those prayers could be felt within and without.  We did however call my friend William and asked him to bring a group of intercessors to our home to pray over us and the home.

This morning, I woke up with a heaviness looming over me that seemed very unshakeable.  Even as I prayed before service this morning, I just couldn’t seem to shake it.  Even Mike’s wife, Kim, could see it on my face.   When I got done praying, I opened the door of the church and sat back down.   I watched out the window as a woman walked past and then made a button hook into the door.

She declared that she was tired of living on the streets and asked if we could help.  At first it was the normal request:  “A few dollars for bus fare to Flour Bluff and something to eat at Whataburger.”   I asked her if we could pray for her, but she didn’t answer me.   She went on to elaborate that she had not slept, that she needed to wash her clothes and that she wanted to get off the streets.

I told her that we did not give out money, but that I would make sure she was fed and we would give her a ride to Flour Bluff if needed.   I also offered to let her do laundry and share lunch with our family and Mike’s family.   She balked and said she just needed money.  I asked her how a few dollars was going to get her off the street?

After a few moments of silence, she asked if she could just have some coffee and said she was going to leave.  I reminded her that she had not answered my question about praying for her.   She told me I could pray for her, but she saw my bottle of annointing oil and told me that I could not annoint her with oil.   I told her that was fair.

I prayed for her deliverance from the streets and the bondage that kept her there.  She sat for several minutes, got some coffee and sat down.   I started into the service and she kept staring at me.   Then all of the sudden, shen leaned over and asked me if we would really help her out as I had indicated before.   I reiterated what I had said and then the Lord gave me a word of deliverance that went straight to her heart.  Immediately the tears began to flow and we bathed her in prayer.

The Lord had already been impressing upon my wife and I that part of the reason He moved us to Padre Island was to create a safe haven for people He was delivering from the streets.  Out here there is no city bus, no red light district, no street culture…a place of safety.   Carol and I both felt compelled without speaking that she was to be the first to find the healing and deliverance of God’s kingdom in our home.

As we drove to Mike and Kim’s for lunch, the tears continued to flow…but they were tears of joy and laughter that burst forth from within.  She also indicated that she has smoked her last cigarette, so I prayed over her cravings, yearnings and desires.  Our new house guest said she had not laughed in years.   While lunch was being prepared, our guest showered and was given a new change of clothes.  The woman who shared a meal with our families was not the same woman who had entered our door a few hours before.

As the afternoon wore on, the pain of years on the street was released in tears as Carol held tightly to her.  I found myself weeping in the adjacent room as I listened to God releasing the pain from within.   Several times she exclaimed..”I can’t believe I’m not craving a cigarette.”

This evening the days of hard living had ended in an early bedtime.  Carol has already had to comfort her once, because of the nightmares she was having.   Our guest’s greatest fear is that we were going to dump her back on the streets.  The mess the enemy makes out of people’s lives….truly the earth groans for the touch of Jesus.

Also this evening the intercessory team spent time in our home.   The Lord spoke to the group collectively about the testing that Carol and I have been under, saying:  “They passed.”   Of course that word was proceeded with the word “patience.”

My friend spoke a valuable word to me as well.  My role in the kingdom is parental in nature…when the time is right the “fatherly” blessing I give as those restored spread their wings and fly will become monumental.

Saying Goodbye

Tonight I was helping to load a moving truck and for once it was not my own.   This time, I was helping a lady who has been apart of our ministry since we arrived in Corpus Christi.   She had the opportunity to retire and move closer to family in Louisiana and so today we loaded her home into a 26′ U-Haul and savored a few final moments of Christian fellowship with one another.

The Lord again showed Himself faithful today, as I had a small commission check arrive from my financial advisory business, enough to pay two bills.    This evening a friend and his family we hadn’t seen in a number of months showed up where we were helping load the moving truck and handed my wife and I a gift that had been impressed on his heart.   The Lord is showing us daily that if we will “seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness,” that all of our needs will be met.

In the Presence of Witnesses

Today, I found myself wrestling with the question of mycall and my role in it.  The Lord has been calling me to focus more attention on the call, but I have been fearful that because of our current difficult circumstances, I was being neglectful in my role as a father and husband.  

This morning I was ministered to by a council of Godly co-laborers.   One dear brother, as he was leaving looked at me and said:  “1 Peter 5:10.”   One of the other men asked, “Why did he say that to you?”  I responded, “We’re about to find out…”

1 Peter 5:10 (NASB)

10 And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.

We then began to talk about our yoking to Jesus and how our burdens are lessened as we work in tandem with Him.   Another man then shared a story of a friend who followed the Lord’s direction, but continued to miss what he thought he was looking for.  It was pointed out that faithfulness and obedience was what the Lord was seeking…not the completion of a task.   Many times the difficult places and circumstances we find ourselves in are not due to bad choices, sin or any other heinous action.   The real reason we find ourselves in that place is because we have simply followed Jesus there.

Over the course of the afternoon, I found my resolve being wishy-washy.   Carol began to speak to me about the refinement process and its preparation of my life for the things ahead, but she emphasized my calling and my work were already clearly defined.   During our Organic Group tonight, I asked “Where do you most need to experience the powerful presence of God in your life tonight?”   Carol’s answer once again returned to the refinement process and call of our previous conversation.   Carol asked the Lord to empower me with a committed Spirit that would not waver under an adversity to the work He has already laid before me.

As we spent a few moments in silence, I was reminded of Elisha:

1 Kings 19:19-21 (NASB)

19 So he departed from there and found Elisha the son of Shaphat, while he was plowing with twelve pairs of oxen before him, and he with the twelfth. And Elijah passed over to him and threw his mantle on him.

20 And he left the oxen and ran after Elijah and said, “Please let me kiss my father and my mother, then I will follow you.” And he said to him, “Go back again, for what have I done to you?”

21 So he returned from following him, and took the pair of oxen and sacrificed them and boiled their flesh with the implements of the oxen, and gave it to the people and they ate. Then he arose and followed Elijah and ministered to him.

It was very clear to me as the old hymn says:  “I have decided to follow Jesus.  No turning back, no turning back.”  With this prompting from the Lord I made a public commitment to throw myself wholeheartedly into the task He has given me and to discontinue asking about other “work.”  The Lord impressed upon me that I needed to have the group annoint my head with oil and pray over me in affirmation of this commitment.
By the way, today’s miraculous provision was the bed of my pickup full of groceries while I was praying with the council of Godly men.